tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post114576259607206737..comments2023-04-01T07:53:24.109-05:00Comments on Navy Blue Elephant Trunks: Expectations, Great and OtherwiseUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146270468231170732006-04-28T19:27:00.000-05:002006-04-28T19:27:00.000-05:00What a beautiful post. Thank you.(Just think, Azur...What a beautiful post. Thank you.<BR/>(Just think, Azure is going to read all this some day and realize just how loved she is.)<BR/>Rachel (in NYC, no blog)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146148906212738722006-04-27T09:41:00.000-05:002006-04-27T09:41:00.000-05:00Thank you for this beautiful, frank post. I think...Thank you for this beautiful, frank post. I think it will mean a lot to many different women no matter how we reach motherhood. I know it did to me (I am adopting, so will probably face different specific issues but some of the same fundamental ones).<BR/><BR/>I hope Azure will be home with you soon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146121854601386702006-04-27T02:10:00.000-05:002006-04-27T02:10:00.000-05:00Blue, what a beautiful and thoughtful post. I can ...Blue, what a beautiful and thoughtful post. I can only imagine what it's like to have this baby who is not yet really yours. Do you think part of having not completely bonded yet is you protecting yourself given all her ups and downs?<BR/><BR/>I do hope that you can get back to a point where the kangaroo care works wel for her, and that it's not too long before she can come home.Thaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12125639207843989848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146092982988993942006-04-26T18:09:00.000-05:002006-04-26T18:09:00.000-05:00This is dead. Bang. On.We didn't have to face th...This is dead. Bang. On.<BR/><BR/>We didn't have to face the whole idea of heroic measures, but everything else you mention takes me right back to where I was a year and a half ago. Your eloquence captures it all so heartbreakingly perfectly.<BR/><BR/>It was when Charlie was in the NICU that Paul and I realized that what made us parents wasn't genes but being needed. Azure needs you, and once you can begin fulfilling the majority of those needs yourself, I think you'll gradually come to feel like a mother in some of the ways you expected to. I don't know if the feeling of being <I>different</I> because of this kind of experience goes away, because mine hasn't yet, but for me, the rest of it has just taken time.<BR/><BR/>Damned agonizingly <I>slow</I> time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146092695014632932006-04-26T18:04:00.000-05:002006-04-26T18:04:00.000-05:00Just wanted to give you some encouragement....we h...Just wanted to give you some encouragement....we have 3 little ones in our family, all born at 24 weeks (1lb 3oz, 1lb 6oz, 1lb 8oz!!)and they are turning five in July! They had some rollercoaster times, but all in all, they are fine, just some residual catching up to do! But they are well, and alive and happy...so hang in there...this, too, shall pass!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146079044497746332006-04-26T14:17:00.000-05:002006-04-26T14:17:00.000-05:00How eloquent. I wonder how many of us actually fi...How eloquent. I wonder how many of us actually find motherhood the way we expected. <BR/><BR/>I think we all do the best we can with what we can. We make choices based on our heart, gut, and any medical information we can get our hands on. In the end, the only one to say whether we did the "right" thing is our own heart.<BR/><BR/>I think of Azure all the time. I hope this difficult time passes quickly and you find yourself in your rocker, overwhelmed by the joy of finally having her home.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146078222941020972006-04-26T14:03:00.000-05:002006-04-26T14:03:00.000-05:00I can't even pretend that I can imagine how hard t...I can't even pretend that I can imagine how hard this has been on your family. Every time I read a new post, I am overwhelmed with pride. I'm proud of you for hanging in there through it all, and I'm even more proud of Azure for fighting. I look forward to the day she can come home with you, and I look forward to the post where you tell us that you finally feel like a Mother because you've been one for so long in my eyes. *hugs*Milenkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05640071972054333523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146075648162771562006-04-26T13:20:00.000-05:002006-04-26T13:20:00.000-05:00Wow, thanks for the insightful response. I'm impre...Wow, thanks for the insightful response. I'm impressed.<BR/><BR/>We were with our little one only 2 weeks in the NICU, but it seemed an eternity.<BR/><BR/>Thinking of you and checking for updates often.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146072317767578702006-04-26T12:25:00.000-05:002006-04-26T12:25:00.000-05:00What a beautiful, honest post. As a mother of two...What a beautiful, honest post. As a mother of two boys (6 and 4), I sometimes wake up and wonder how we got here and question my feelings of motherhood. I can't imagine how difficult it must be entering your motherhood under such difficult cirucumstances.<BR/><BR/>I'm so glad you chose to believe in Azure's ability to thrive and I sincerely hope she continues to fight and grow. Keep up the good work. You're an awesome mom already even on those days you doubt yourself.<BR/><BR/>-PeggyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146047728811133872006-04-26T05:35:00.000-05:002006-04-26T05:35:00.000-05:00Sitting here and crying. Crying because another mo...Sitting here and crying. Crying because another mother has to go through this. Because you, your husband and your daughter have to go through this. Because your writing is beautiful and honest and true. Because that is exactly how I felt, and still feel. <BR/><BR/>We think about you every day and hope that you are having more ups than downs on your NICU roller coaster. Hoping you will all be home soon - together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146023038121718062006-04-25T22:43:00.000-05:002006-04-25T22:43:00.000-05:00Your post was so honest and, well, true. When you ...Your post was so honest and, well, true. When you said, "I do not yet feel like a mother and I do not think that I will feel like a mother until I get Azure home with me and I am the one responsible for her care. I will not feel like a mother until I no longer have to ask permission to hold her (Saturday and Sunday permission was denied), to bathe her, to change her diaper or give her medicines that she needs," I think you articulated what so many NICU moms have felt/feel. I'm thinking of you. Please know that you are not alone in your feelings.lagiuliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058662174999849701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146019495365154892006-04-25T21:44:00.000-05:002006-04-25T21:44:00.000-05:00I vividly recall having the exact same feelings. ...I vividly recall having the exact same feelings. Even as my twins (also born at 24 weeks and 3 days) approach their second birthday, the NICU days, and the turmoil of emotion following my babies' birth are never far from my mind. I am reading along on your journey and wish you and Azure all the best.<BR/>BillieBilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10589229199716201638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1146003711324668722006-04-25T17:21:00.000-05:002006-04-25T17:21:00.000-05:00Dear Blue, after reading this post I am compelled ...Dear Blue, after reading this post I am compelled to delurk - so here I am. I have been reading you since when Azure was born, and went all the way back in the archives to learn your story. You are a really amazing person. You're so graceful and so strong. I am thinking about you and I check in almost every day to see how Azure is doing and how you guys are holding up. Sending you all my good thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145999777179309492006-04-25T16:16:00.000-05:002006-04-25T16:16:00.000-05:00Oh, Blue. That is exactly how I felt through it a...Oh, Blue. That is exactly how I felt through it all. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I think I began to really feel like my son's mother while in the "developmental" pod of our NICU -- the area where the babies are stable, able to be cared for by their parents, held at well, etc. Thinking of you!Miss Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05177663584794717107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145990689264155442006-04-25T13:44:00.000-05:002006-04-25T13:44:00.000-05:00I'm new to reading your blog, but I wanted to let ...I'm new to reading your blog, but I wanted to let you know that I am one of those that is praying for you and for your daughter.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04584231502518663595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145990134397050062006-04-25T13:35:00.000-05:002006-04-25T13:35:00.000-05:00What a powerful post. It really moved me.I am hop...What a powerful post. It really moved me.<BR/><BR/>I am hoping with all my heart that every thing works out wonderfully, for all of you.<BR/><BR/>Sending you all my love<BR/>TxxTertiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17041136587660938690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145976920446954592006-04-25T09:55:00.000-05:002006-04-25T09:55:00.000-05:00I feel such a connection with you because my edd w...I feel such a connection with you because my edd was also June 6, but June 6 of 2005. My babies arrived on April 19, so not nearly as early as little Azure, but they had to put in some NICU time just the same. My daughter, in particular, had many of the same issues Azure is dealing with now as far as getting overstimulated, forgetting to breathe, etc. I'll never forget those feelings of anger, sadness, and most of all, helplessness. Please just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you. And that when she finally comes home, there won't be a mom anywhere more happy and more proud of her "new" baby, her little fighter, than you.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17475610023387400133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145976722315348752006-04-25T09:52:00.000-05:002006-04-25T09:52:00.000-05:00I'm sorry you're going through this and have to as...I'm sorry you're going through this and have to ask yourself these questions. <BR/><BR/>Please know that there are a lot of people out there who might not comment but are praying for you and your family.chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07455026458904632093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145976056638883352006-04-25T09:40:00.000-05:002006-04-25T09:40:00.000-05:00I agree with sam. Your post was heart-wrenching. ...I agree with sam. Your post was heart-wrenching. God bless your daughter and God bless you and your husband as you wait and watch and hope and participate when you can.<BR/><BR/>I thought of you and of this blog yesterday as I sat down to write a difficult note to friends who suffered a late pregnancy loss.<BR/><BR/>Becoming a parent, and having that fundamental soul change that goes along with it, without having your child at home with you is the cruelest blow imaginable.<BR/><BR/>I hope that your dear, precious girl is home with you soon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145975756025977762006-04-25T09:35:00.000-05:002006-04-25T09:35:00.000-05:00I check on you every day for news on Azure, and ho...I check on you every day for news on Azure, and hope she is doing better. I can't even imagine what it must be like watching her fight. She is strong, even in her tiny body. I do know what it's like waiting, though. Not being able to care for your baby. The disappointment, perhaps, of how you came to be a mother even though you didn't know what to expect. My son is adopted and came home to us at 10.5 months. I was so in love with him through pictures, but what I got to hold was an 18 pound baby that someone else had cared for all that time. We did get to enjoy a lot of milestones with him, but he was not a tiny infant. Some part of me will always want that and wonder what it's like. I hope Azure continues to thrive.Well-heeled momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11569152748901969557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145975387786589002006-04-25T09:29:00.000-05:002006-04-25T09:29:00.000-05:00I am still thinking and praying for your family an...I am still thinking and praying for your family and little Azure. I am so sorry that the path you are on is so different from what you (we all) hoped for. I hope she continues to grow and thrive and gets to come home soon to you. <BR/><BR/>StacyGAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145970539919189032006-04-25T08:08:00.000-05:002006-04-25T08:08:00.000-05:00no one expects this. i'm sorry you are living it a...no one expects this. i'm sorry you are living it and i hope you get Azure home really soon.Cat, Gallopinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04867271192971274545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7118802.post-1145969719936238422006-04-25T07:55:00.000-05:002006-04-25T07:55:00.000-05:00Just a lurker here to say that your post was heart...Just a lurker here to say that your post was heart-wrenching. I think of you and your little one all the time and send you my thoughts and prayers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com