Damn FRED!

FRED has once again proven himself as unreliable.  I'm calling this morning about getting a beta.

Wish me luck!

Monday Again

So it is Monday, two days prior to TEST DAY and I am feeling twingy in the lower right abdominal area.  Meaning? *shrug*  Probably pre-cramping, if I had to guess.  Who knows, we will find out Wednesday right?  Sure. If we make it that far.

 

I have been doing some very deep (and somewhat disturbing) thinking lately about living childfree.  Not like a radical childfree person, just a person sans child.  I have been thinking about how since I was 18 I thought that I would adopt if I couldn't have biological children.  Now I am even reconsidering that choice, one that I thought was an automatic decision for me. 

Is this a normal way of processing difficult decisions? 

Is this my way of self-preservation? 

Am I thinking all of these things only to find out that this cycle worked and now that I convince myself to live childfree I could end up pregnant? 

I don't know, I haven't shared these thoughts with anyone until now, T doesn't even know.  I don't even know that I would choose to live childfree, just the thinking about it is new to me and has caught me off guard.  I am wondering where all this has come from. Has my subconscious given up hope?

 

So the poop thing.  *TMI ahead* I manage to do it just about every day with the help of 1500mg of Metformin, and THREE stool softener pills, plus the fiber in my diet (whole grain bread, apples, veggies, etc.)  However, the actual pooping is not so easy.  It is quiet hard and comes out in little chunks which apparently stop up our toilet at home.  T is glad that I am actually moving something through my system so he has not complained too much about having to plunge out the toilet a couple/three times a week.  However, I have started flushing two to three times per session.  Poop a little, flush, poop some more, flush, poop the rest, wipe (not too much paper, you'll clog up the pipes!), flush. This is highly irritating and takes far too much concentration on my part.  I would rather just read my magazine and flush when I am done, you know?  So, I guess my question is, what more can I do?  Is there a specific food or fiber supplement that works for you?  Is there something that I can add to my daily regimen that will help smooth things out a bit so I am not straining and rocking and breathing like I am in labor just to pass a bit the size of a grape?  The other thing is, I don't remember having this much trouble before switching to the prometrium.  I am wondering if it is a progesterone thing as I seem to have the most trouble during the second half of my cycles.  I know pregnant women complain about getting backed up due to iron pills, but I am not taking iron.  Could it be the progesterone?

 

My SIL visited this weekend with her 3 month old son.  He is absolutely adorable.  I got to hold him almost the entire time and fed him his bottle and even when he cried she didn't rush to take him away from me.  She let me sway him and bounce him and bring back that HUGE drooly smile.  What a great visit.  I always wonder though what people think when they see an infertile holding a baby.  Is she afraid I might cry or try to run in another room and lock the door so she can't have him back?  I wonder what T thinks as he watches me holding a baby.  Does he get a warm feeling like that is what it will be like with our children or does he see it as a surreal picture, one he doesn't expect to see in our lives? 

 

I read through all my bloglines today and then refreshed.  When nothing new came up I felt like that ad a few years ago when the guy was clicking away and he got a pop up that said "You have reached the end of the internet. Please turn around."  What is a girl to do but to write a post herself?

The Good, The Bad and...well, you know how it goes.

The Good:

It is September 20!!!!  Yay!!! It is September 20!!!! Do you know what that means?  Do you?  Huh?  No, I can tell you don't. I am just not getting those (!!!!!) vibes from you.  Well, let me tell you, it is the day of the U.S. release of Bon Jovi's latest CD Have a Nice Day.  Ahem.  You are still not properly jumping up and down with glee clapping your hands and smiling so big your face hurts.  Go ahead, I'll wait.

Well, *I* properly recognize this day in history.  I went to the store at lunch and bought the CD along with the new Disturbed CD for T.  How about that?  Huh? TOTALLY thinking of someone else on my special day. *gold star* I listened to it (Bon Jovi, not Disturbed, pay attention!) in the car on the way back to work, I listened to it on my computer when my boss went out for lunch and I shall listen to it at the gym tonight while I am sweating and panting and increasing my heart rate, Oh, and I'll be exercising too. :0)

 

The Bad:

It is only one week into my two week wait for this IUI.  I am not going to test until next Wednesday.  Do you have any idea how far away next Wednesday is?  It is a really loooooooooooooooong time!!!!!  What ever am I to do to keep myself sane and occupied for that length of time?  Oh, no problem. I have been informed that I shall be doing yard work, every day, without fail, for the next week.  Have I mentioned I don't like yard work?  *sigh*

 

The Ugly:

I got on the scale this morning.  EEEEEEEEK!  Yeah, time to get back to the gym.

You know that feeling...

when you are 2DPIUI and your right ovary feels like it is under so much pressure that you keep looking at your abdomen because you are SURE that you will be able to visibly see the moment the ovary actually EXPLODES! 

 

Seriously, how bad should it hurt right now?  If I am only now ovulating then the IUI was a waste of $ since I highly doubt those sperm hung out until now hoping to find somewhere to land. (I do not believe that I am just now ovulating since I got a peak on the monitor on Monday, had the hcg shot that day and today I was back down to low on the monitor, so what gives?) 

 

Also, there were only three follicles.  I can't imagine what it is like for those of you who have had follies in the double digits much less in the 20s, 30s or higher. 

 

Added to the ovary pain is the low back pain which is all connected to the ovary pain.  (Gotta love Endo!) I am so thankful I have a massage scheduled for tonight.  I need a little heat therapy on the low back about now.

 

Corpus Luteum breakdown? Maybe. 

Implantation?  Possibly but highly unlikely since this pain is one that I have felt before and .. well ... there have been no prior pregnancies, so, yeah. 

Pain just for the Hell of it?  Sure, why not?

IUI#2 , IVF vs. Adoption and T on Fatherhood

IUI#2 went off without a hitch! 

 

I took the day off so as to avoid the run to the RE on my lunch hour then run back to the office thing I did last time.  I wanted to relax a bit, give it a chance to actually work, you know?  So, I dropped T back off at work and then went to the store to pick up a pound of ground turkey and an onion so I could get the chili rolling in the crock pot.  (I made a detour through the Steak-n-Shake and picked up an order of onion rings and a caramel mocha shake. YUM!) I got the chili going, cleaned up the kitchen and settled myself down on the couch with the dog and the remote.  I had an episode of The Baby Lab I wanted to watch while T was gone so I could cry with abandon and not have to ask/answer any questions.  At least on this episode there were two couples who actually got babies out of the deal.  Once T got home we took off for the beach.  It was the perfect day to go.  Not too hot (at the lakeshore at least, our house was fucking sizzling!) and the waves were big.  T had a BLAST!!!  We got home in time to take out the trash and grab our bowls of chili to eat while we watched the season premiere of The Biggest Loser.  LOVE that show, if you haven't seen it you should watch it next week. 

 

Interesting discussions had this week include T mentioning not once but twice that he isn't sure that the gamble of IVF is worth the money involved.  We figured out that the Letrozole/IUI are costing us $500/cycle.  The IVF would be more, obviously.  He has always seemed interested in pursuing IVF if the IUI route doesn't work.  I think he might be starting to question that now.  I am THRILLED!  I can't even explain how happy I am about this.  In the past year I finally came around to agreeing to no more than 2 IVF attempts if it would satisfy T's mind that the biological kid thing just isn't going to happen for us.  I wanted to be confident that when/if we moved on to adoption that we were both comfortable with that decision.  I think he would have struggled with that if he wanted to do IVF and I pushed for adoption anyway.  He would have gone along with my wishes because that is the way he is, I pretty much get whatever my little heart desires (except a cat, but we did get the dog so I am willing to overlook this one small exception).  It is his way of keeping me happy. 

 

(Please note: I am not a spoiled princess who asks for unreasonable things and expect to get them, but if I happen to mention in passing one day that I would like this or that then I usually find it done and T develops a huge beaming smile for making my wish come true. It is really sweet actually and I do not abuse it.) 

 

What concerns me about adoption in this instance is that I need T to be 100% DAD not the husband of the woman who adopted the kid(s).  I need him to embrace adoption and embrace the kid(s) with all of his heart but I don't think he could do that if he was harboring resentment about the IVF we never tried. (Oh yeah, and money is a HUGE issue on both counts.)

 

Please understand that I fully support those going through IVF.  I think I would have to do all the shots myself. (T has always refused to be involved in anything needle related.  He hates them, even if I am the one being poked. This did not help me with the whole sympathetic mercy IVF decision.)  I have never wanted to do IVF myself.  In my opinion, for ME, it isn't worth the money, physical and emotional investment to maybe have a baby.  I am much more comfortable with the idea of adoption.  I am willing to pay the money, go through the intense scrutiny, the long waiting period and emotional rollercoaster if I know there is a kid at the end.  That is my own personal choice that I made years ago and pretty much had my mind set before we even decided to have kids.  I am now a little (as in, minutely) more comfortable with the idea of IVF but I still don't want to do it.  If T decided that he wanted to go through an IVF cycle I would, but I would be doing it for him and his peace of mind and not because I thought it would actually make me a mother.  This of course makes T uncomfortable because it makes it sound like his decision and that isn't fair.  On the other hand what do you do when one person says IVF and the other says Adoption?  You can get all the information together and review the statistics and discuss all you want but in the end you have to make a decision one way or the other.

 

So, I pose this question to those who have been at that fork in the road.  When faced with two different courses of treatment and you disagree with your partner on which one to follow, how did you make the decision?  How did you come to that agreement?  Did you go with the more conservative one first and agree to go to the more risky if that didn't work?  Did you flip a coin? Did you take an internet poll and let the masses decide?  I am interested in the process you used to come to your decision.

 

I will now mention two separate comments T made at the Tiger's game on Sunday: 

 

1) We were walking to our seats after one of our frequent potty breaks (32-oz. beers go RIGHT through me, hee hee) and T asked if I had noticed the shirt of a man who had just walked past us carrying one child and leading another by the hand.  It said "Dad 24/7" and T thought that was pretty cool.  Actually, I think he found it sad that the shirt was necessary.  That is the way it is supposed to be.

 

2) He said (seemingly out of nowhere), "Do you have any idea how spoiled our first child is going to be?" I just smiled but he said, "No, really.  She is going to have a little shirt that says 'Princess' and that is exactly how she's going to be treated!"  "Daddy's little girl?" I asked wrapping my arms around him.  "You've got no idea", he said.  If the way he treats me is any indication, I can tell you this child will want for absolutely nothing.  (Am I going to have a brat on my hands or what?)

 

I guess all this depends on how the current IUI turns out.  One day down, 14 to go.

Second Chances

My ultrasound this morning showed three huge follies on the right (none on the left).  I had my hcg shot and we will go in tomorrow for IUI #2.

*Fingers Crossed*

Gushing Oodles of Love for My Maaaa-ggie Dawwwwg

Christine asked for the top 10 reasons we love our pet(s).  Here is my list for my wonderful Maggie Girl, in no particular order.

 

1. I get snuffly ear "kisses" whenever I lay on the floor.
2. She does doggie yoga when she wakes up.  Starting out in Downdog then reaching through into Cobra.
3. We have determined that for Maggie, snot equals love since when she greets us she sniffs us all over then sneezes into our faces. We usually say "Oh, Thank you Maggie!" and wipe the snot right back onto her. (My husband went so far as to blow his nose on her ear once but then felt guilty and cleaned it off for her.)
4. She does NOT eat everything/anything in site...including her own food (which is something I wish I could change) but this means our furniture, shoes and electronics are safe.
5. She loves to snuggle up with us on the couch or chair which is why she has never been allowed on the bed, she would take over.
6. She is part lab and part boxer.  You can totally see both breeds in her.  The boxer people see the boxer straight away but the lab people usually ask what she is mixed with.
7. I never would have done it myself but her tail was bobbed before we got her.  I LOVE it.  The veracity (and velocity) with which she shakes her hind end leads me to believe a full tail would be a lethal weapon.
8. When her ears are perked up she looks just like a puppy.  I think she will always have a baby face.
9. Whether I have been gone 3 days or only 10 minutes she greets me with the same enthusiasm.  She barks to let me know that I am too slow getting out of the car to meet her at the door.
10. She begs for lettuce and bacon alike.  She LOVES vegetables but is absolutely transfixed when I am eating a Granny Smith Apple!!!
11. I'm adding # 11, because she is my BABY!  She is the first real pet (not counting fish) of my adult life.  I plan on owning dogs the rest of my life (one at a time) and as T says all the time, "I love this one, but I'll love the next one too".  I know this is true, but she is my first, and will always be the standard by which all other dogs are judged.  (I assume they will not all have eating disorders but I do intend on finding other special needs dogs now that I know I have the patience and love to care for them.)

BeSide Myself

I am absolutely beside myself with this siding. It has been one thing after another.  It all backed up on me last night and I cried and cried and poor T had to try to console me all the while agreeing with everything that I said.  The gist of it is, I need "the wisdom to know the difference" between those things I can change and the those things that I cannot change.  

 

Suffice it to say that all of this siding stuff was supposed to be completed in the month of August.  We were to have refinanced the house in the month of August.  We were to go away this weekend (to Detroit to watch a couple Tiger's games) after giving ourselves a couple weeks to settle in, as a treat for making it through the month of August. 

 

The siding is not done, and in case you haven't noticed, it is no longer the month of August.  The salesman flat out LIED to me.  He swore today they would be back on Tuesday to do the garage and that it would only take them a day and a half to do the whole thing.  (I will believe this when I see it.) Anyway, this all blew up last night when (yet again) T's company screwed up payroll and the money was not deposited into our account like it was supposed to be.  If we had refinanced already this may not have been a problem, but we haven't, we couldn't, we still can't, so it was...a problem.  I cracked.  Poor T.  Today the money is there and I feel much better, but last night, not so much (hormonal anyone?). 

 

I am working in a daze today, a bit numb, hoping things continue to move along, even at this most lethargic of a snail's pace because EVENTUALLY it has to get done, right?  Right.  I have to keep telling myself this, it WILL get done...someday.

So, imagine my surprise when a truck pulled up from Eastern Floral and delivered the most gorgeous bouquet of purple and magenta flowers.  And...they were for ME. I knew the minute I laid eyes on them they were from my best pal S!  How, I thought, did she know I have been thinking about her so much this week?  How did she get the card I sent her already, I only mailed it after work last night, and she is in ALASKA!!  How, in the world, did she know that I needed these SO BADLY RIGHT NOW? The thing is, she didn't know.  She sent them because she was thinking of me.  Do I have to say that I excused myself to the ladies room and cried big huge tears of gratitude?  Well, I did (again with the hormones).

 

SO, we will be in Detroit this weekend getting away from it all and return next week hoping (fingers crossed) that by next weekend the garage will be sided and the job will be complete...maybe.

 

Oh yeah, and Monday is the big CD13 U/S which will tell us exactly what day next week IUI#2 will take place.

Holiday Scmoliday

Yesterday was a holiday here in the States.  Labor Day.  A time to reflect on the horrid working conditions which brought about the unions and child labor laws and a great time to save up to 70% on whatever it is you are shopping for that particular day.

T and I decided to go to the beach.  The sky was clear it was relatively cool and the water temp was a "refreshing" 66 degrees *brrr*.  What I didn't realize was that it was also Bring Your Baby To The Beach Day.  I must have missed that memo.  They were EVERYWHERE!  Not just toddlers digging in the sand with pails and shovels and big droopy diapers (though there were plenty of those too).  No, I mean BABIES, less than 9 months old.  The parents were good, there was sunblock, hats and shade bearing tent-like things.  The kids seemed happy.  But we were surrounded.

The best part was when the gorgeous little girl from the blanket next to us decided to come over for a chat.  She must have been 2 with huge blue eyes and big blonde curls and the most adorable sundress and floppy hat.  She walked right up to us and said "Hi!".  Her father quickly scampered over and redirected her back to her own space and I said to T, "You've got to look out for those cute blondes, they'll get you in trouble every time".  He flipped my blonde curls off of my shoulder and looked into my own blue eyes and said, "Yep, that's what I hear".

*Sigh*

CD7, I took the last of the Femara this morning.  Next week Monday will be the big follie scan.

 

The Vain Drain

So I went last week Tuesday to donate blood.  I have done this countless times as evidenced by the many scars on my inner right elbow.  I wear them as a badge of pride.  I do my part.  I do what I can to help those in need in my community.  I do it because I know so many others do not.  I do it because I know some want to but cannot.  I do it because I am not afraid of needles or any sort of medical situation and I know that prevents some from giving when otherwise they would.

OK, off the soapbox. 

So I made it through the screening just fine. Though it is more difficult when I have to explain each time that I do have two chronic diseases (Endo and Hashimoto's) for which I see a doctor on a regular basis and no, it will not effect my ability to donate.  They ask me this every time and every time I have to explain that they ask me all this every time and it is fine I have been doing this for years, it is not a problem.  Just a hassle in getting through the paperwork.  The screeners are just doing their jobs, I know, but you would think they could put something in my permanent record so we don't have to hash it out each time. ANYWAY...

I hopped up on the table telling them the right arm is my good arm which is quickly confirmed by the phlebotomist when she saw all of my scars and how good the veins stick out.  She confirmed my name, turned me brown/orange with the betadine and secured the tourniquet.  I squeezed twice on the little stress ball and held while she poked the needle into my arm.

"Wow," I thought to myself, "This one hurt more than normal".

She paused, backed up a bit still holding the needle and my arm and said to me, rather harshly in my opinion, "You have a hematoma!" As if it were MY fault.

I turned my head to look at my arm and saw that there is very little blood in the tube connected to the needle but that my arm had swollen out to double its normal size.  This happened instantly.  I cannot express quickly enough in words how fast this happened because by the time you read the sentence to describe it, it would have happened five times already.  It was FAST!

She jiggled the needle a bit and I noticed that the site of the needle was no longer painful but that I felt pain going down my forearm across the top of my hand and down my ring finger. 

"Oh, that must just be because that is the finger they poked to check my iron" I thought.

"Does it hurt?" she asked me.

"No, but my hand is going numb" I said.

"Hmm" she replied, with that puzzled look on her face again.

"Well, I am going to have to remove it." she said, apologetically, as if I wanted this all to continue. "That is our normal procedure when these things happen."

She took the needle out and I held my arm straight up in the air applying pressure with the other hand.  My right hand still throbbed and my whole arm became sore.

We decided to try again with the other arm, even though the right arm has always been the good arm.  The only vein available on the left was a side vein. 

"These are OK," she said "but they don't always hold up".  I've had the side veins used before so I told her to go ahead and try anyway.

I had to wait something like 20 minutes while they redid the paperwork because they could not use the original tubes and collection bag because they had been contaminated now, you know, with my own blood.  Don't want to go mixing blood from the right and left arms now do we?

She got the left arm going and went about helping the others donating around me.  Then she came back and frowned at my bag.  I was going too slow. 

"Squeeze gently but more often" she said of the little rubber ball.  I did.  She continued to frown. 

We spent another 20 minutes adjusting things, her pulling down on my arm muscle to give the needle just the right angle.  She released the tape holding the needle and put it back.  She pulled the tourniquet tighter, made it looser.  I was too slow.  I have NEVER been accused of being a slow bleeder.  I usually get remarks from all the neighboring phlebotomists about how FAST I fill the bag!  I am a good bleeder!

They finally had to stop it for fear that I might start to clot.  They only had 1/2 a pint.  I asked if they could use what they had and she said she didn't think so.  BUT, I still had to wait the entire 56 days before I could give again because I had lost so much blood.  *shaking my head* 

I left with the standard Band-Aid on my left arm and a pressure bandage on the right.  My right arm hurt from my shoulder down to my fingertips.  I couldn't move that arm for two days.  Over the weekend it was still bothering me.  Just yesterday the bruising appeared.  It must have been DEEP.  I now have bruising in various colors of yellow, green, purple and brown in a circle with a 3 inch diameter!

So, I was drained in vain, with nothing to gain, except my own pain...I thought I would explain. (OK, I'm done,sorry.)

Space Case

Has everyone heard about Mars?  Supposedly, it is visible to the naked eye and appearing this week for the only time in several centuries and will not be seen again by anyone alive today.  The only reason I know about this stellar performance is that I keep getting emails urging me to run outside and look at the sky for fear of missing this huge event. *shrug*  I am just not turned on by such things (though I do love a good full moon).  To each his own though I guess.

 

On August 18 (CD31) I noticed a bit of pink tinting on the TP before leaving work. (With all the construction in town and not knowing when/if I will ever get home from day to day I have taken to going potty before leaving the office.)  "Shit", I thought.  Not only did this mean that my "break" cycle was over but that it had not been the "miracle cycle that worked" and AF would be packing her bags and accompanying us to the NASCAR race.  (This is just what I wanted, the weekend spent running from my tent to the ladies room down the road carrying my handy little travel case with liners and tampons. No thanks.) I was bummed and told T and he was bummed and we hugged and bed farewell to our hopes that our fun in Seattle would have created something to last a lifetime.  Oh, yeah, and did I mention I was simply not ready at that point for another cycle to start?  I mean, the siding on the house wasn't even started yet, much less finished (ahem, still isn't finished but that is another story) and I wasn't sure how we would go about paying for an IUI this month what with our property taxes due and GEEZ, I would have to get to the pharmacy to get the Letrozole and Met and ...and...and... It was just really bad timing.

 

Then, it went away.  There was nothing more but that bit of tint on the TP.  The undies were clear and there wasn't even the faintest hint of cramping.

 

I spent the weekend waiting for it.  I went absolutely nowhere without my pocket case which holds not one but four tampons (small with no applicator, like ob but different brand).  I was just sure the blood flow would start when I was hell and gone from the tent and I would be stuck bleeding out in a port-a-potty while T had to go back to the tent to fetch my things. (Note: He would never do such a thing.  He would offer to walk behind me so that no one saw the blood that would be sure to soak through my pants but he would not be a gopher for feminine products.)  All weekend long I would see "spotting" on the TP but never in the panties and my tampons were either in my pocket or the dry pocket of the soft sided cooler we carried with us everywhere.

 

On Monday morning (CD35) as we were packing up our soggy camp to head back to the real world I ran to the bathroom one last time before we headed out on our journey home.  There was fresh bright red blood on the TP.  I ran back to the bus to fetch my tampons (the one time I didn't have them with me, go figure) and intended to run back to the ladies room but T saw me and stopped me to ask what was going on.  "Shit started", I said, and headed off back to the ladies'. (I really need to work on a more empathic delivery method for this type of news. My poor husband.) When I came out he was standing by the door waiting for me.  He hugged me and told me he was sorry and that he loved me.  I hugged him back but was a bit surprised by the weight of his reaction. He was still thinking I would be pregnant.   I guess that happens when I can feel my body going through the stages and he can only follow my lead by the signs that I give him.  He was really holding out hope.  I dreaded the long bus ride home since my "seat" on the bus was actually a pillow on top of our cooler. (It is a NASCAR thing, don't worry about it.)

 

When we got home I ran to the bathroom to check to see how much I bled through.  Nothing.  No blood.  The tampon was all but dry.  What the Fuck?!?!?!?!?!

 

These mind games have been fucking with me. Here we go, no, wait, not yet, OK, Now! Wait, nope, try again later, test...negative, *tapping fingers*, more color on the TP, Ok, here we go, wait, nope, not yet... I felt like the last shuttle launch.  How many times can you reschedule a launch before you just pull the plug? This is getting ridiculous!  I tested again on Saturday (CD40) and it was still negative. Does it take a rocket scientist to get a fucking period these days? 

 

Don't get me wrong.  I have been kind of glad for the extended period of time (pun intended) for exactly the reasons I presented earlier, but at the same time I feel like I am walking around waiting for the axe to fall.  I hate to even mention it to T anymore since his hopes rise and fall with the tide in my jeans (the pull of the moon and all that).

 

Last night, we had The DISH Network installed and today I cancelled our cable.  (Bastards)  Anyway, in going over the new channels we discovered we now get The NASA Channel.  You know, for all your space viewing pleasure!  Is it any wonder that, today CD43, I started to bleed?  Not just on the TP, not just spotting in the delicates, but bleeding.  I think AF snuck up on me for the first time...ever.  I think tomorrow will officially be CD1 and I shall call the Fertility Gods to schedule lift off of IUI Flight #2.  I ordered my drug refills and will pick them up tomorrow whether the bleeding continues or not.  I would wait until tomorrow to mention it to T for fear of crushing him with wrong information...again...except that the minute he sees me wear those-certain-jammies to bed tonight he will know the jig is up.  That is our little signal that I am not, um, open for business shall we say? Yeah. So that will be pretty obvious.

 

So, now I am actually kind of excited to get the show on the road.  I felt what might possibly turn into cramps start twinging away down there so I headed them off at the pass with 800mg ibuprofen.  I am not bleeding heavy or light, just a nice first day sort of medium.

 

I am ready...keeping fingers crossed that the control tower gives me the go ahead.

 

Kennedy...request permission for take off...

FRED is a Jackass

CD42 and counting with only one line to show for my efforts.

TGI'm outta here!

4:59pm on Friday afternoon. 

Come on baby, flip that last digit. 

 

I am on my way to the $1 store then home to finish unpacking from last weekend (I am horrible at unpacking, I live out of the suitcase until everything is gone) and then make myself a huge pitcher of Sangria to chill overnight and to be enjoyed tomorrow post-wedding/during Bristol night race.

 

See?  I can kick it with the best of them!

New...Again and The Big Party Weekend!

Well I haven't had time to teach myself HTML in order to fix the funky gap in the blog thing so I have once again changed the template on my blog.  It is simple and user friendly I think.  Does anyone actually look at my site anymore or am I bloglined?  I do love bloglines for its ease of use but I do miss the personalization from visiting the sites themselves.

 

Big plans for the weekend?

Why, Yes! Thanks for asking!

 

T's uncle is getting married on Saturday.  We just learned about it at the beginning of the week.  I think he and his fiance went to the Sturgis bike rally and came back engaged.  Low and behold they called the family and the preacher and said "Show up at our place at 2 on Saturday, wear your jeans and we'll go have dinner after at the Old Country Buffet."  I must say, I can't wait.  I am more psyched about this wedding than the most formal event you've ever heard of.  I really like Uncle D and L is such a sweetheart. It should be a good time and we should still make it back home in time to watch the Bristol race on TV (it is a Saturday night race this week).

 

On Sunday I (at least, not sure if T will come or not) will be attending my nephew's 3rd birthday party.  Again, we just learned about this get-together at the beginning of this week. (Nothing like planning ahead, I tell ya what!) 

 

So, my original plan for this weekend (early morning meeting with FRED, go to the gym, rent a power washer to strip old paint off of foundation of house, watch Bristol race, sleep, go to gym, start repainting foundation of house) will have to be put on hold.

Big Bowl O' Nuts

In a nutshell...

 

• Today is CD38.  I have seen both old and new blood on the tp but nothing in the undies so I can't really count it as true spotting.  I asked my good buddy FRED for his opinion on Tuesday and he was not so much with the positiveness.  T wants me ask FRED again on Saturday to see if he mightn't have changed his mind. 
• The house is still not finished.  Everyday when we get home we find some new thing they did wrong, or something the sales guy didn't tell the workmen to do, or they left nails in the driveway which is the one thing T requested they be SURE not to do.  Every.day.  They have to do all the high peeks today.  They removed our old screen door weeks ago but didn't have the new one to install. WTF? The replacement screen door which has been missing for over two weeks now has been located in a warehouse about an hour away. T asked if they would like to go get it or should he drive his firebird over there, strap it to the roof and bring it back for them.  I was told it would be on my house either today or tomorrow.  I am not holding my breath.  Oh, yeah, and the best part is, they miscalculated when they ordered our siding and didn't get enough, so they have to order more.  This is a special order since we are very strange people (complete freaks, we) who wanted double 5" instead of double 4" siding so it will take over a week to get the new siding in.  They will finish the house and then go to another job, when our siding comes in they will come back to do the garage.  So, for a while, we will have a nice beautiful dusty blue house with white trim and a nasty faded gold garage.  T does not know this part yet, I just learned about it this morning.  If you have never seen someone's head explode before, come on over to my place tonight because I think it will happen about 7:30 or so.  I'll make popcorn and provide festival seating, it might be fun.
• I am gaining weight.  Not so odd after the all out drink/food fest that is NASCAR weekend; but the point is, I am supposed to be going the other way.  I shall return to the gym tonight after work and have started a food journal...again...for like the bazillionth time.  As much as I missed drinking, I am almost looking forward to AF showing up so that I can quit again (and restart the Metformin).  It is probably not good that 3 out of 5 nights I have beer for dinner.  No, not WITH dinner, but FOR dinner.  Yeah, probably not so good.  I shall rededicate myself to fruits, vegetables and green tea!!! Hazzah!
• Our receptionist is wearing a new perfume which smells exactly like pipe tobacco.  While it reminds me of my father in my early childhood (when he still smoked a pipe) I can't say that it is necessarily a GOOD smell.


I've run out of time.  I was going to say "here is my life in a nutshell" but I feel more like all the shells laying on the floor of a steakhouse at the moment.  Could someone sweep me up please?

Off to the Races!

The car is half packed, we will add the cooler, our clothes and my bike at the last minute.  We will leave around 6pm to make the LONG trek (long due to construction) up to Greenville where we will unload our stuff onto the bus and settle in for the trip down to Michigan International Speedway.  Once there, the men will unload the bus while the women set up camp.  (I need to set up our new tent...by myself...in the dark.  Wish me luck.)  We will spend the next four days surrounded by drunk red-necks who spontaneously shout out "Go JUNIOR! Whoo Hoo!" and other similar things.  It is always a good time.  We have friends coming down just on Sunday to watch the race with us.  We however, will stay over Sunday night and come home on Monday when the traffic has cleared out of our way.

 

We are hoping that in that time there will be more siding applied to our house.  The windows have been wrapped and there are a few corner pieces up so we can see the exact color it will be once it is all finished.  It looks good for something that is only 5% finished.

 

We have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off since returning from Seattle so this will be a nice long weekend with no responsibilities beyond Don't-Fall-Off-The-Roof-of-the-Bus.  *Sigh*

Pause Please

OK, I knew this month would be hectic and crazy with lots to do in very little time and would end up spending the rest of the little money we actually have but this is absolutely ridiculous!

I am waiting for AF to show up. Not sure if we will do an IUI this next cycle or not, I guess it will depend on when it would be and whether we can afford it before or after we refinance the house. One of those bridges we will cross when we come to it I think.

The new siding is supposed to start going up today, after it was rescheduled from last Wednesday which was after they pushed it back from last Monday.  Can you see how this is going?  T is about ready to burn down the house and call it a day.

I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to tie up loose ends before we leave for NASCAR on Thursday.  (If you happen to be at Michigan International Speedway this weekend, I will be the drunk blonde woman sitting on top of the bus babbling to myself.  Oh, wait, that describes the whole infield, doesn't it?)  No time to do anything but I have a LONG list of things to do in the next three days.

Has anyone seen the remote to the world?  I'd like push pause for a little while if that is OK.

No Time

• I have no time to read or write. 
• Back from Seattle, it was fun. 
• Now that I am back from "vacation" I am too busy for internet stuff. 
• Siding going up tomorrow, in-laws coming for dinner tonight (just found out yesterday, we are not prepared for company right now).
• Will catch up when I can on my reading and then will catch up on my writing.
• Vanilla Vodka = GOOOOOOOD especially with cherries.

Dog + Construction = Puke

Poor Maggie is not handling the construction well.  She is not eating again.  Drives me crazy.  She almost looks too sad to eat. (I think she is suffering from anorexia brought on by autism, if that is possible. No joke, I am completely serious.)

 

The electrician is supposed to come tomorrow to rewire the outside lights and install a ceiling fan in the livingroom.  I can't wait.  We will also get some more outlets in our bedroom (only one right now) so that will be nice.  No more extension cords run around the floor.

 

We have to clean, shop, pack and repair the broken boards on the house before we leave for Seattle on Thursday morning.  We should be able to get it all done...I hope.

 

The good news is I found my bite splint. I have been needing it lately with all the stress and couldn't find it (TMJ on overdrive!).  It was in the pocket of a bag I haven't used in a while.  I found it cleaning out the dormer so the electrician can get into the attic, which is full of wasps and bees since there was no screen on the roof vent.  *shaking my head*

 

THIS is why we are skipping the IUI this month, which would be this week sometime as well.  (Gold star on Blue's forehead for thinking ahead!)

 

See you all next week!

 

PS - Jen P. I'm thinking of you girl and will check in when I can to see what is happening with your little Kiwi.

 

What day is it again? Oh, that's right, I don't care.

I am not supposed to care since we are taking this cycle off.  I woke up this morning with no concept of where I was in my cycle.  I decided to temp just this once to see whether I was Pre or Post ovulation.  97.3 means I am Pre.  I just so happened to notice that I was feeling a bit crampy today and I just happened to notice that just after lunch I felt a quick sharp pain in my right ovary.  I then thought quite in passing that I should be ovulating sometime this week so I did a nonchalant day count and discovered that today is CD14. Hmm.  You know, not that I care because I have too many other things going on right now.  Ask me if I care in another couple of weeks would ya? You know, because right now I don't care...but I might temp tomorrow just to see.  You know, for curiosity's sake.

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This past weekend:

We stripped the house. (It is MUCHO ugly at this point, can't wait for that beautiful new siding.)

We drank a LOT.

T is turning in the aluminum for $ this afternoon.

I am getting a massage tonight.

T is going to a concert tonight. (Killswitch Engage anyone?)

I will clean out all of our junk blocking the access door to the attic tonight.

---

This morning I:

Called the siding guy to schedule a meeting on Wednesday.

Called the GYN to schedule my annual exam.

Called the carpet cleaning people.

Made the car payment.

Made the Home Depot payment.

Picked up more FB for Men at GNC.

Made a HUGE to-do list for the next three days.

Oh yeah, and went to work.

 

Sometime before Thursday we will:

Do laundry.

Buy new dress clothes for T since his are all too big now after his weight loss.

Have the electrical work done inside and out.

Re-negotiate the contract with the siding people since we found some ugly things we weren't expecting hiding under the aluminum.

Confirm everything with the house/dog sitter.

Clean the house.

Pack.

Charge the camera.

Set the VCR to tape the NASCAR race on Sunday since we will be flying home during that time.

Pick up the dog poop out back.

Put out the trash.

Take pictures of the house in its ugly stage. (Did I mention how ugly it is?  It looks like a burned out carcass of a house you would find in downtown Detroit.)

Make repairs to the house so it is set to go for the siding people.

Completely freak out because there is NO TIME to do all of this AND work full-time AND you know, eat and sleep...all in the next three days!