I touched on a couple things in my last post but didn't develop them properly. I wrote it in a rush and posted it without doing a thorough proof reading. Let me see if I can elaborate a bit.
#1) My neck/shoulder/wrist. It is easy enough to look at my job, sitting in a chair typing all day, lots of numbers so the right hand gets used more than the left, and say that my posture and repeated use can cause this type of muscle fatigue and aches. I have been doing the same thing for the past nine years. I have a very difficult time believing that all of a sudden last Friday things started to hurt this way. I have always had tight muscles in my neck and shoulders. I stretch them when I feel them tightening up and before Azure was born I was getting regular massages to help relax them a bit. I no longer have the time or money to get those massages, and my massage therapist just had a baby of her own a couple weeks ago. (She has also endo and has been a great support and friend for the past few years.) T thinks that I hurt myself lifting Azure's car seat out of the base. I suppose this is possible, but it is not like I felt a twinge at the time of injury or anything. I may be sleeping on it funny, but why all of a sudden? Maybe it is Azure getting heavier but wouldn't my muscles gain in strength as she gains weight? It is not like she was 5 pounds yesterday and 12 pounds today, that happened slowly over the past six months. For now I am using stretches, a heated neck wrap and the occasional pain reliever to try to ease it a bit.
#2) The Rx of progesterone to jump-start my period should only be taken if I am certain I am not pregnant. I had to take not one but two tests to prove my low hcg in order to get the Rx in the first place. My thought was that I would take it ASAP but then my life went and got in the way again. Normally, T and I take a bit of a vacation Thanksgiving weekend. We go up north and enjoy ourselves gambling, bowling, playing pool, eating food we brought from home to keep the cost down and romping in the hotel swimming pool. Of course there is always the added bonus of Vacation Sex. Who doesn't like Vacation Sex, right? Well, this year we stayed home. To be honest, we didn't have the money at the time and bringing Azure with us this year would mean no gambling, and probably no bowling or pool playing. Our trade off is spending the night in the hotel this Saturday for T's company Christmas party. We get the pool, a good time with good food and, hopefully, the Vacation Sex. If I had taken the progesterone when I got it on Monday I would bet cold hard cash that AF would be in full force just in time to ruin this weekend for us (what with the bleeding and cramping and snarking). I couldn't do that to T. I decided to put my marriage ahead of my uterus for a few days. But, it isn't just a few days, is it? If we enjoy ourselves this weekend I have to wait another two weeks (during which we will need to either abstain or use a reliable form of birth control), test again and then take the progesterone. Don't get me wrong. The irony of needing to take a medication so that I have a cycle at all but not being able to take the medication until I prove my body is still defective is just laughable. HA! And yet, here we are. I suppose a few more weeks doesn't matter. Maybe I'll take the progesterone on Christmas, just in time to fuck up New Years! HoHoHo.
Ok, I think I did a better job of explaining myself this time.
One more thing to add. T and I have basically agreed that we would like to adopt another child preferably within the next 4-5 years. What is standing in our way is money. We don't have any. So, our plan of action at this point is to straighten out our financial fiasco and then we will investigate our options from that fresh point of view. I can deal with this. This gives me something to work on, even if it isn't directly related to bringing another child into our family it is a step in that direction. I can feel good about paying bills and pinching pennies because in the end Azure will have a sibling. *sigh of relief*
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