A WTF Day, Nurses and Mother's Day

I recommend if you are going to a garage sale at your girlfriend's house and she lives out in the middle of nowhere and you have never been there before and you followed her turn by turn directions to get to her house, do not call your husband to tell him you are running late and will be home in half-an-hour (so you can inhale dinner and head to the hospital for feeding time) because while you are on the phone you will miss your turn and end up 50 miles PAST Bum-Fucked-Egypt and will have to drive around aimlessly trying to find phone signal to once again call your husband and have him look up your location on Map-quest (thank goodness for DSL service) and have him talk you back to the highway so that you can then get home an hour and a half later than you originally intended at which time your bladder explodes because on the way to the garage sale you drank 32 ounces of your famous coffee/hot chocolate mix since it was cold and rainy and you thought it would be soothing.  It did not end up soothing enough.

Once home and starting to feel a bit better about your ordeal you will learn that your husband has cooked dinner and enjoyed a few beers whilst awaiting your return due to the fact that he was rear-ended in his car on the way to the gym that day and that while the car looks none-the-worse-for-wear the S50 (Sirius satellite radio receiver) was knocked off of its docking station and has since not worked properly and his neck is a bit sore and he is hoping it will not stiffen up to become very sore the following day. His head is about to explode with anger making you grateful that he is sitting there telling you this story at home rather than you finding it on the late news in a road rage expose. 

All of this is sorted out and stories told over dinner which is eaten very late and takes up your whole evening which in turn makes a trip to the hospital to visit your daughter impossible since you both need to get to bed so that you can get up early the next morning and go back to work. We called to talk to Fabulous Nurse* and are assured that Azure could really care less whether we were there or not as she was inhaling a bottle at the moment.

The brightest spot of the day?  Finding out that Azure had an excellent day and is feeling a bit more energetic despite the anemia and jaundice she is struggling with and is knocking on the door of 4 pounds.

*sigh* Is it the weekend yet?

 

*T and I have little names for the different nurses that we have encountered over the past 12 weeks. (12 WEEKS!!!!) 

Our favorite is Fabulous Nurse who works nights and we just LOVE.  In a weird freaky coincidence we found out that her SIL is my step-brother's secretary.  Small world. Anyway, it was Fabulous Nurse who was there the night that Azure took her downward spiral with the bowel obstruction.  This was more than just apnea, the woman had to bag her to keep her breathing!  She then handed her other assignments off to another nurse and sat by Azure's bedside the entire night to keep an eye on her. She marveled at my pain tolerance when I was dealing with the double yeast infection and praised my continuing to pump in the face of such agony.  She also jumps right into the sarcastic humor bantered back and forth between T and I and we love that.  I want to do something nice for this woman when Azure gets out.  I think I will cry when we say goodbye to her.  I will miss seeing her on a regular basis. 

There is also Nurse Christina Ricci so named because she looks like the woman's TWIN only from back in the Adam's Family days!  Good nurse but absolutely no personality. The hard part is trying to remember her real name since in my head I call her Christina.  One of these days I am bound to slip.

Then there is Nurse Church Lady who not only looks like the Dana Carvey character but acts like her too.  Very preachy and couldn't wait to tell us that her husband works at the local [Anti-Choice Organization] office. I SO want to get a preemie sized onsie that says something like "My Parents are Pro-Choice Atheists and VOTE!".  However, I figured I had better not stir the pot unless I could be there through her whole shift to ward off evil spirits.

There is another nurse I love but I don't have a good name for her.  All I know is that she came up to me this morning and said, "I want to be the first one to wish you a Happy Mother's Day**!" and gave me a hug.  How cool is that?!?! 

 

**Mother's Day is fast approaching and I don't know how I feel about it.  All I know is that I still do not feel like a mother and I just want to spend the whole day with Azure which means packing myself a lunch and parking my butt down at the hospital all day.  This will have to start later in the day than I originally planned since the Elephant Clan (grandparents, aunts, ucles, cousins, etc.) will be meeting for breakfast at 10am so I will not get to the hospital until around noon.  That sucks!  If my grandparents weren't going to be there I would skip the whole thing but since I only see them every once in a while (they live in Florida half the year) I want to visit with them while I can.  They will not be around forever, ya know?  I assume T has something in mind for Mother's Day but I don't know what and I am actually hoping that no one makes a big deal about it for me.  I just really don't feel like it applies to me yet.  It makes me a bit uncomfortable.  Most women want a day OFF of mothering on Mother's Day.  I want to actually BE a mother on Mother's Day.