March for Babies

Sunday, May 26, 2013

"On Writing"

Thinking about things that I enjoy and things that seem to come easily for me and things that would make me happy,  I kept coming up with the same thing...writing. I am an Ok writer, not great. I aspire to be a Mary Roach or even a Julia ( Classy, intelligent and funny ladies.  Hey, I said that's what I aspire to, I am certainly not there yet! My writing has a conversational tone which people seem to enjoy and I have been told I should write a book, but to be honest, I write for myself about things that concern me at the time. For years I have said that I do not write when I am happy which shows that writing is a form of therapy, of processing, of cathartic expression. It is selfish and self-absorbed and yet, I do love feedback on what I have written. 
I miss blogging. I did it a lot when we were in the thick of infertility treatments and then going through the NICU. At the time I was blogging anonymously which gave me the freedom to say whatever I wanted as long as I didn't let the cat out of the bag about who I was or who might have been involved in a particular situation. Then I had to learn about a different type of blogging during Amanda's cancer treatments. I was factual and tried SO HARD to keep it all sounding upbeat, even when we were struggling SO HARD to keep putting one foot in front of the other. That blog was not anonymous so I felt very exposed. I know that I didn't share as much raw emotion just for that reason. I was facing enough (drama/trauma) without the fear of someone possibly criticizing something I may have said or done as a parent/employee/writer.  I was too vulnerable at the time. 
Then, as a way to support World Prematurity Awareness Day with Blog for Preemies, I went public with my original blog (after going through it post by post and editing anything that may implicate anyone else poorly in a public manner which seemed more innocent in the light of a pseudonym). I was told I was brave for "coming out of the closet" in that way. 
Then too, with the increased popularity of Facebook and Twitter I actually started thinking in shorter form prose. How can I express (share) this idea/situation/event in as few words as possible? While it did wonders for my word economy, it lead me away from the writing and I have come to realize...I miss it. I like the feel of writing, I like the typing as my thoughts flow straight through my fingers and onto the screen. I miss re-reading what I just typed and thinking, "Yes, that sums it up very nicely". I miss the act of writing. So, maybe I should start writing again. Worst case scenario is that no one leaves me feedback. Best cast scenario is I get to clear my head. I think it will be good for me either way. 

*Since this is about writing and partly inspired by the interview I read this morning with Stephen King who is far and away my favorite author (so versatile), I shall steal the title of this post from his memoir  On Writing. SK writes 1500 words each morning, just like someone who would get up and run two miles every morning. Keep up the habit and good things are bound to happen. So, write on...