March for Babies

Monday, November 07, 2005

I should probably write something...

I have been reading blogs like crazy, just not writing myself.  Let's see what I can come up with.
I keep having dreams that the baby is already here.  In every dream I have had a boy, with blond curly hair and he is tall (overly tall, can't fit in my lap to breastfeed) and skinny as all get-out.  I tried to swaddle him in one dream but he was just too damn long.  I think I am having subconscious fears of breastfeeding actually, since I have more than once dreamed that my nipple (always the left one) was stretched out like 4 inches long.  I just look down at it in wonderment while T stares on a bit horrified. 
One dream scared the shit out of me.  The dog was pacing around the bed (in real life) and fussing at me to get up.  I kept yelling (OK, demanding sternly)  for her to go lay down as it was the middle of the fucking night.  If she wanted to go downstairs to sleep then just GO already, let me sleep!  I then dreamed that my two year old blond curly haired son was trying to get me up from bed to play.  I screamed at him that it was the middle of the night even though the clock (in my dream) said it was 10am and the sun was out and he wanted to play.  He ran over to the toy chest to pick out a toy and I grabbed him by his ankles and held him upside down until he agreed to let me go back to bed. He never looked scared, just kept smiling at me as if he was right and knew I was wrong.  That made me even more angry.   I woke up feeling sick at how I had reacted in my dream.  I know I was annoyed at the dog, I know I will want those times to sleep in and the child will not let me.  I just hope beyond hope that I never react with that violent anger.  It was so scary just to dream about it. 
Last night I dreamed that I told my girlfriends from high school that I was pregnant.  One of them went to the same Fertility God that I saw in order to conceive her first child. She actually recommended that I go see him.   The second came naturally.  She was so upset by my news, like an infertile would have trouble wishing another congratulations while they were still struggling.  I knew she was upset and I tried very hard to be gentle and understanding.  I don't think that she will react this way at all in real life when I do actually tell her, I wonder why I dreamed this. The fact of the matter is, her son is 9 months old and I have yet to see him since the one day she invited me over I had a bad cold and didn't want to get the baby sick.  After that, it was very convenient to be busy. *sigh* I am horrible.
None of my dreams so far have dealt with labor or delivery.  This is not a subject that I am particularly worried about.  I suppose it could just be a bit premature to think of these things as I will only be 10 weeks along tomorrow.  L & D might enter my dreams the closer we come to actually having to face these things.  I do know that in the dreams I have had I remember nothing of delivery.  My friend even asked me for the birth story in one and I told her I couldn't remember.  Weird.
My theory however is that pregnancy itself does not bring on fatique.  It is the constant dreaming that makes one not rest well which makes her tired during the day. *YAWN*
So, the most interesting part (as if any of this has been interesting to anyone but me) of these dreams is that I keep dreaming I have had a boy but T is convinced it will be a girl and he even has me thinking (when awake) that this could be true.  SO, the big question is, who is right?  T or my subconscious?


Jen P said...

Nearly every dream I had while pregnant with Sophie featured a gorgeous dark haired boy. Even when we knew Sophie was a girl it was always a boy in my dreams.

Matt however had 1 dream my entire pregnancy that was baby related and it was a girl. This was before we knew and he claims now that he 'always knew'.

So I dunno. Generally I'd go with the power of mother's intuition, etc but there's something about dad's having a clue as well.

Hope you're feeling well and getting lots of rest. That fatigue is miserable!

TracyB said...

That's so funny - I had horible breastfeeding dreams too - like my baby wouldn't latch on so my mother had to breastfeed him for me. I'm sure Freud would have plenty to say about all that. And wait til you pump (if you do) because your nipples will feel and seem like they ARE four inches long. They totally get sucked into that cup and get unbelievably long, but then go back to normal once you stop pumping. Since our boy was in the NICU for a while, the hospital grade pump and I became very good friends. Er, allies maybe. In fact, I almost became a side show attraction with how long my nipples looked in that darn thing. And that may have been way TMI. Sorry. :)

I also never dreamed about labor & delivery. Which was probably good. THe boy was born five weeks early, so I didn't even get to do the Lamaza one day supler class either (he was born 8 days before the class - ha!). And it all went swimmingly well considering he was so early.

Bottom line - you will definitely dream about things that are bugging you in daylight. So leave all that buggy stuff for another time and dream happy baby things. You deserve it!

April said...

Bizarre dreams there Blue. Hope you're at least getting some much needed rest.