when you get home at almost 6pm on Tuesday night to find a message on the machine from your OB's office saying to call them before 5 but don't forget that they are closed on Wednesdays so if you can't call by 5 then to please call on Thursday.
I had blood drawn on Monday for the Quad Screening. Do you think this raised my hackles? They don't call unless something is wrong, I believe this is normal doctor behavior. If the bloodwork is good then no news is good news. Otherwise, they call, right?
So, Bitch #1: They have my work number, they know that I work and have called me at work on many many occasions. Why would they leave this message at home on a Tuesday so that I can obsess about it for a full day and a half before I can find out what they want?
Bitch #2: Why is the office closed on Wednesdays! This is highly irritating!
Bitch #3: I immediately must begin to think of reasons OTHER than the fact that my Quad test would reveal that T and I should never have biological children and should stop this whole thing right here and now for the sake of humanity at large. The only thing I can come up with is that the lab somehow screwed up my sample. Maybe they put it in the wrong vial or it was mixed with the wrong chemical or they didn't get enough or they spilled it or something equally human-error-oriented which has nothing at all to do with me or our baby.
Bitch #4: T picks Tuesday night of all nights to make a very insensitive politically incorrect joke about the mentally challenged. At first I think this is a slam on the mentally challenged at large and then realize he is referring to me. I then think that when I call the OB on Thursday she will tell us our chances of having a Down's child will be something like 1:2 or some other insane thing that of course you can't really tell from a Quad screen, but who the Hell is thinking clearly at a time like this?!?!?!?! (In T's defense, it was a funny joke. It was just wrong on so many levels.)
Bitch #5: When I called the OB's office this morning to find out what they wanted to tell me I discovered that they sent me for my Quad test two weeks too early. They want it done at 16 weeks and I had only been 14 weeks 6 days when the blood was drawn. SO! I get to do it over again, they will send me the lab slip in the mail.