March for Babies

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

"Baby Girl Trunks"

I never imagined choosing a name for my child would be so difficult. Important yes, a chance to stretch my creative thinking and of course powers of cooperation with my spouse, of course. Difficult? Never in a million years did I think it would be difficult.

I have had a “short list” in my day planner for the past 10 years or so. It changes, names are added and others drop off. For the most part, I want a Celtic/Gaelic/Irish name to go with Elephant (Irish) middle name and Trunks (English) last name. Remember when I said that Elephant and Trunks sound very similar to the point where we do not want a rhyming sort of name to emerge? This makes things more difficult.

Another factor that has always been there for me is that I have always thought the name would start with a specific letter of the alphabet. The same letter as my own name. For arguments sake we will say that is the letter B since here I am known as Blue. Every time I have looked at books of names or lists of names or thought about names for my girl child (the letter thing never was an issue for a boy, only a girl for some reason) I just skipped right to that letter of the alphabet. I never bothered with the other 25 letters. I would not need them.

I might need them now.

I hesitantly started a conversation with T at dinner Saturday night (we went out for Italian to celebrate my 31 years on this planet). I asked him if he had given any thought to what we might want to call this little girl. He said he had so far thought of only one name. A name that immediately brought about “bitchy” connotations for me. I have thought about it over and over since and am willing to admit that the name does not a bitch make since I do know others with this name who are non-bitchy (some in our very own blogosphere) but I am just not in love with the name. Plus, it is quite often shortened to a name I DO NOT want for my daughter.

I told him the name that has been going over and over in my head ever since we found out Light Blue was a girl. It has been on the “short list” for years, not for the name itself but because it is shortened to a name I LOVE. It just worked for me so well. I was a bit surprised myself when this name in particular came to the front above all the others on the list since it had never been my FAVORITE but always one that I liked. I thought it was telling me something. My little girl wanted this name! I started thinking of her with that name and even came up with a cute little nickname from it. So what happened? Well, just like the name T suggested held “bitchy” connotations for me, the name I suggested held “fat” connotations for him. He believes that by giving her this name we will predispose her to an obese life. (Note: I do not think he even knows anyone with this name and have NO idea where he has gotten this idea.)

I went through every other name on my list, variations, different spellings, nicknames, etc. He did not like any of them. There were two that he “didn’t hate”.

I got out the baby name book that my SIL lent to me when she found out we were expecting. I never thought I would need it since I had so many on my list that T was bound to like one of them. I went through every letter of the alphabet except B since T has also decided that B is off limits (“What are you trying to fulfill within yourself?”), as is naming her after someone we know. I suggested naming her after his own grandmother with whom he had a most special relationship. They shared a birthday, we live in her house, they had some sort of bond that I cannot put into words. His reaction? “Why, are we having an 80 year old shrinking English woman?”


I have loved the suggestions here. They have all brought smiles to my face. Honestly, Azure has been considered carefully. (Not so sure about Indogo though Christine. ;-) ) I would still like to stick to the Celtic/Gaelic/Irish if I can. Maybe I just have to get T in a good mood and try some of them again. So far I have a list of 3 or 4 names that are “on the table” for discussion which means neither of us immediately rejected it.

She might just end up as Baby Bleau.


Suzanne said...

The name will come to you. I found with my daughter, it was the first name we talked about(CAROLINE) that finally became the name we gave her. When I was in labor with her,I was out shopping and the clerk's name was CAROLINE. When i got home to rest a bit, CAROLINE in the CITY was playing on repeats. When we got to the hospital, they paged a CAROLINE.I took it as a sign. I now have a 13.5 month old Sweetie Caroline.
And her name fits her to a T.
Your baby's will as well....
Congrats again

daysgoby said...

Do you want us to willy-nilly toss Irish/Celtic names out as we think of them? Or maybe you're not at that point yet...

Picking out names is hard. My husband was hot to name our daughter a name I thought worked well for whores and crack addicts. You're lucky to escape with his current favorite as being bitchy. (Rolling eyes)Oh, and naming your daughter with the same initial is -I think - a very nice thing, carrying on a tradition. After all, who better to model herself on but her Mom?

Elephant trunks and all.

Jen P said...

Oh how I had fair dreams. My little Lily, or Madeline. Madison maybe. Oh she was to be sweet. And then they got a tad fashionable but still! Dreaming on! Fairness! Light! Beauty! Naming a child will be wonderful!

And then Matt basically veto'd every name on EARTH giving the most banal and stupid explanations known to mankind and ugh. I was ready to give up. Thankfully I had mentioned casually that I loved the song Sophie by Goodshirt and somehow that transalted into 'Jen loves the name Sophie' and he came home and decided she was to be a Sophie.

And a Sophie she surely is.

Good luck with the naming. It was so stressful for us because Matt made it so difficult until the very end (we still had no boy's name for that rare chance she was really a he).

I love the Gaelic connection as I wanted something sort of Irish for Sophie to lean onto her Irish heritage until Matt reaffirmed that our last name is Scottish and isn't that showing favourtism?! Arrrrgh.

There's a beautiful Celtic naming website online that I bookmarked for months. I can't actually remember it now but it might be handy. And please, anything but Jennifer. ;)

Best wishes!

Amanda said...

I'm all about the Celctic names. My son is named Caedmon and the next one...well she's about to be here and we STILL don't have a name due to my husbands absolute hatered of my #1 pick (Landry).

Good luck!

webhill said...

When my husband and I were trying to name our third child/second girl, we had a horrible time. I wrote a list of 30 names, as did he, and we gave each other the lists, with the idea we'd cross off the names we hated and regroup. He hated all of mine. I hated 29 of his, and found one of them only very slightly acceptable.

Then we pulled out the baby naming book and went through it together. Literally every single name that I said "ok" to, he said "hell no" to. The few names he said "ok" to were high up on my "hell no" list. It was truly awful.

I finally emailed a relative in Israel and asked her for a list (we were looking for either a name which would work in both Israel and the US, and which was preferably Hebrew).

My one-year-old's name ended up being Lilah. You will find a beautiful name for your baby, too.

Shana said...

I love, love, love Cordelia --which is Welsh. It's the name we had picked out for Joaquin had he been a girl.

Another Irish/Celtic name I love is Isolde. But I can tell you from experience (it's our daughter's name -- that's how much we loved it!) that you will forever be spelling it for people, telling people how to pronounce it, and explaining its provenance if you use it. Still, a pretty name.

ThreeBees said...

I so remember the many name discussions with Mr. Bee. I’ve always been more a fan of your “classic” names: Jane, Elizabeth, Catherine, etc. But my husband considers that “boring”. There was a time when I thought this kid would see her 5th birthday before we ever decided on a name!! Based on the types of names I like, I would have never guessed that’d I would have name my daughter Seija – but I’m so glad I did! The right name will find you both eventually but in the meantime, have fun looking – you might decide on a name you never expected!