March for Babies

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

If I didn't over analyze, what would I do all day?

The term cycling pretty much implies that you go in a circle. You start out in a certain direction and in the end, you find yourself right back where you began. Maybe that is our problem. Maybe if we called it something more linear sounding it would have a different ending? I’ll have to work on that.

This cycle…um, I mean this particular linear time frame of menstrual between-ness…has been somewhat odd for me. It is my first time using the monitor and so far, I like it. I have not been surprised by anything that I have seen with the exception of having peak days on CD13 and CD14. (Geez, I’ll have to change those initials too once I figure out what to call a thing I’m doing.) I say that I was surprised because I have had much trouble with OPKs and have only seen a couple positives in the past six months and I didn’t really trust those. Also, I am used to ovulating around CD17 or so (on Clomid). I do believe that I can confirm ovulation for the first time. I had two peak days followed by a rise in my temperatures. If it looks like ovulation and hurts like ovulation (pinching abdominal pain and sore boobs) then I feel safe to call it ovulation. We did what we were supposed to do three days prior, two days prior, the day of and the day after I ovulated gaining me a “High” ranking on my Intercourse Timing monitor on that friend of the fertile site.

This all seems well and good right? Right. Hold on, we’re not done yet.

Since CD15, which was the day after ovulation I have had pain on the right side of my abdomen. It feels sort of cystish. I don’t really know. I know it hurts and I believe that it is coming from the general area of my right ovary. It is sometimes a sharp pain, sometimes muted and sometimes it isn’t there at all. Very unpredictable.

In addition, since CD15 I have been having a strange sort of spotting. I have had a bit of tinting on the TP. Not spotting like before AF but just a hint of color when I wipe. Last Thursday our …um, get together…was quite vigorous and when I got up to get dressed I saw a red dribble of liquid slip down my leg and stain my sock. Can I be the first to raise my hand and say “ewwww!” I cleaned myself up and put on a panty liner just in case but that was it, no more.

I am still (CD23 now) seeing the color on the TP and feeling that pain on the right side. I have also been dealing with (What? Is this too much already?) a bit of constipation. I have been able to have a movement everyday but they are VERY difficult with much straining and labor-like breathing involved. (Push for a count of ten, take a deep breath in, tuck your knees to your chest and push again. Maybe I need 10 people in the room counting aloud and cheering me on?) These have all been followed by full on bloody TP. Not a simple tint but blood. Nothing on the undies, just the TP. (JenP, I totally thought of you with the whole -Do you know which hole the blood is coming from?- thing! It is most definitely NOT coming from my ass so don’t go there!)

My boobs hurt for a week just around ovulation but they have stopped now. I must say, I am a bit disappointed. I was hoping they would continue to hurt and this would be it. Not sure now.

How about the fact that my temps are flat? 97.9 day after day after day. I used to think this was due to the progesterone, but I'm not taking the progesterone this time and I have the SAME temps and they are the SAME every day! No, it is not a faulty battery in the thermometer, I thought that before and replaced it, still getting the SAME results.

Have you had enough? No? Not yet? OK, how about my spongy cervix? I have felt my cervix when it is firm, like the end of my nose. I have felt my cervix when it is soft and squishy. I have felt it open and closed. Concerned about the spotting I decided to check it out. Spongy. Ladies and Gentlemen I think SpongeBob Bloody Pants has moved into my vagina and has taken the place of my cervix. That little identity thief even brought along the prosthetic nabothian cyst to try to throw me off track! I could feel the firmness of the cervix beneath his lumpy sponge-like exterior. WTF? Sunday was the first day in a week that it started feeling more normal. I don’t know if that is good or bad.

Where am I going with this? Well, this linear time frame of menstrual between-ness has been quite different from any I have had before. I have never been pregnant before so I am of course wondering if those two things are enough to draw any conclusions at 9DPO. I’m guessing not.

What I hate the most is that this has all been an open invitation to Hope. I think she’s kind of like a vampire. She can only come in if you invite her. Damn! Just when you are trying hard NOT to invite her in, that is when the little tiny bit of subconscious slips up and waves her over. Not to mention the hubby is thinking that this month we actually did everything right so wouldn’t it be cool if I were pregnant so we didn’t have to go to the urologist and get that referral to the RE.

Yeah, wouldn’t that be cool?


Anonymous said...

The constipation comment caught my attention. I have been pregnant three times (and this current one is the only baby producing one). Each time, I susupected becuase of constipation. Potential TMI: I have a 12 day luteal phase, and normally, when not pregnant, my stools get "loose" before my period. Not like diarrhea, just loose. Each time I was pregnant, I was constipated starting around 9 or 10dpo and that made me test (only with First Response--all else is crap that early) on 11 dpo. Each time, I got a super faint positive on 11dpo after the constipation. I had a 3 year road of ttc before this current healthy pregnancy, adn I don't think there's anything wrong with gettign hopeful. Hopeful or not, not being pregnant will suck. Good luck to you and I'll be looking for news!
Julie M

Anonymous said...

geez--sorry for the abundance of typos!
Julie M

Jen P said...

Wait! I thought we were playing reverse psychology!! No. It would SUCK to not have to see an RE...SUCK!!!

(fingers crossed. fingers crossed. fingers crossed.)

VHMPrincess said...

I would trying peeing on a stick, and see if that resolves anything ;-)

ThreeBees said...

Yup. I think I'd be all about the pee stick on this one. . .

Go for it girl! PEE! PEE! PEE! PEE!

*fingers crossed*