March for Babies

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

How My Husband Handles the Negative

T was pretty upset that this IUI didn't work out.  Mostly because of the timing issue.  Like I said, it was supposed to be a Letrazole, U/S & Post-Coital, HCG, we-do-our-thing, Prometrium and get pregnant kind of cycle.  It turned into a Letrazole, U/S & Post-Coital, HCG, IUI next day, Premetrium, CRAMPS/PERIOD/LOTS OF ALCOHOL kind of cycle. 
T didn't like the timing, he gets two days to save up for an S/A and with the IUI the day after the PCT he thought he did not have time to replenish his resources. I do not think this was an issue since his post-wash count was 93 million or something but he keeps going back to what the nurse said at the PCT, "The motility is good but we would like to see more (meaning higher numbers)". Keep in mind that the PCT was done the day we were both sunburned beyond recognition and he admitted that in the During-Coital time he was not thinking "Whose your Daddy?" but rather "If I come, will you get off of me?" which he believes inhibited his performance, read: quantity. 
T also didn't like the fact that based on the outcome of the post-coital the doctor wanted anti-sperm antibodies tests run on both of us.  They drew my blood that day but T had to wait an entire week to return for his since they only run those tests on Tuesdays and we were there on Tuesday but he had already used up his chance for a sample that day and apparently needed his reserves for the IUI the next day.  T thinks they should have held off on the IUI until the next cycle, AFTER they knew the results of the anti-sperm antibodies tests (both came out just fine BTW).  We could have been completely wasting our time and money depending on how those tests came out. 
I told him that given the information they had at the time the IUI was our best chance to make something out of that cycle.  He grudgingly shrugged and (sort of) agreed with that.  Basically he is just angry that we went through all of this and we have nothing to show for it but my Visa bill.  I tried very hard to sound comforting and supportive of his feelings.  I told him that we are doing the IUIs to bypass the problems we have to let conception happen naturally (sperm and egg doing their thing on their own) which is still not a guarantee.  We still need the sperm to fertilize the egg which we cannot force doing what we are doing.  No matter how much money we spend on drugs or ultrasounds or IUIs we cannot MAKE the egg fertilize and given that happens we cannot MAKE the embryo implant.
I thought this all sounded quite logical and realistic and given my tone of voice very understanding.
His reply?
"I'm going to have to have sex with a hamster aren't I?
I never should have told him about that particular test.


B said...

OMG - that is too funny!

B said...

Well, not all the testing and BS that you're going through. You know...

Internal Spring said...

Oh how frustrating. I hope you get miles or something on that Visa.

Sperm counts can be improved. There are things that can be done that wouldn't be too costly. You should google it or check out some books.

Stress can be a sperm killer too - I know my DH had a problem the first time and was really late producing his sample and the count was on the low side, the next time he was more relaxed and his count was like 100 times higher.

Hope there's a simple explanation and that there will be no hampsters in your future.

Lala said...

That was sad and funny all at the same time....