March for Babies

Friday, July 22, 2005

Sou Where Yaying?

My Thule of Rumb…um, I mean my Rule of Thumb is …”No knitting after the second martini”.  This rule came about after several projects went by the wayside (losing countless stitches then attempting to gain them back resulting in a nice big K shape) as I RELAXED with a drink by my side and needles in hand.  My BIL and SIL will attest to this since their “Wedding Afghan” does not fold properly into a rectanlge.  I say, “Who the fuck cares, you know you only fold it when the parents come over anyway”, which has been proven since the afghan has appeared in the majority of the new baby pictures.  *grand sweeping bow*  This has lead to many a conversation which goes like this… “Have you seen the pictures of my new nephew?  Here he is with his eyes open, see that?  I made that afghan.  Yes, thank you.  Here he is sleeping on his mother’s chest.  See, there is the afghan again.  There he is with his father, yup, my afghan again.  It must be their favorite, I made it you know.  Huh? Yes, he is cute isn’t he?”

This explains why I am sitting here (knot nitting) writing this (slowly since I have to correct every other word) instead of knitting my heart out to get my new poncho finished in time to wear at my friend’s rehearsal dinner in Seattle.   The explanation to this is tow-fodl… I mean, two-fold… 

1)      After two beers and 1 and 5/7ths gin martinis with two olives (each) and a little dirt (dirt=olive juice for the uninformed) I am feeling pretty good about life…except that part where everyone else gets a baby but me.

2)    Um… what?

3)    Oh yeah, I am loading audio books from the library (read: FREE) onto my new iPod (20GB with a cull-folor…whoops, full-color screen which can show slide shoes of my pictures as well as play my mooooooosik.)

.

.

.

 

What am I loading? 

 

Audio books!  Duh! Don’t you people listen?  Um, I mean, READ?

 

Well, yeah.

 

Anyway, so I have three books here which I have not read/listened to yet.   They are…in no particular order:

1)      Ya-Yas in Bloom by Rebecca Wells (Prequel I believe to Tiny Alters Everywhere)

2)    The Lake House by James Patterson and

3)    Morality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith (Author of The #1 Ladies Detective Agency which is a MUST READ)

 

Look at me…skunk as a drunk and lill stalking literature.

 

RIGHT!  … SO!

 

Did I have a point?  Probably not.  Stay tuned … in our next episode our heroine is Still NOT PREGNANT.

Now a word from our sponsors, Gin, Vermouth, Pimento Stuffed Green Olives and Glass Chilled in the Freezer!

 

*Hhhhhick*

2 comments:

B said...

Too funny! But, this is how bad I am...when you would "correct" yourself, I would have to go back and re-read the mistake. My brain automatically filled in the right words. LOL! BTW, I've read that James Patterson book. v. good.

Internal Spring said...

Very funny, wish I could drink something besides beer and wine, probably a lot less calories get consumed in getting wasted that way.

I'm listen (even now as I type) to A Long Way Down by Nick Hornsby - it's great. I'm re-listening to it. Long live Audible. Love it.

Sorry still not, me not too.