This is my support system, I LOVE them!

Things T said in reference to IUI:

I'm jealous of the catheter!

Can I just come in a cup, put it in a straw and blow it up in there?

Don't pee!  There won't be anymore little T's in there when you're done!

How do we really know that's my sperm?  This kid better look like me within the first year or we're going to have a problem!

Do we have to have sex? (Because of our sun burns) Can I just come in my hand and throw it at you? (OK, taken out of the context of the conversation this one sounds more gross than funny but trust me, at the time it was hilarious.)

Email from best friend, living in Alaska, regarding IUI:

Blue,

First you are the bravest woman I know.

Second, you are the most amazing woman I know.

Third, I hope that soon, you too will be getting up every three hours to feed/play/make stop crying a small one of your own.

and Fourth -  I can't wait to see you!!!! 

you are amazing and always leave me in awe,

S

IUI #1 or The Cervix is in Sight!

We sat in the waiting room for several minutes. The other couple and the single woman (single as in by herself, as opposed to marital status) were called back and we were there alone. T looked at his watch and said, “11:15 must be a suggestion rather than written in stone.” It was all I could do not to laugh aloud thinking that they must be back there with a woman in the stirrups searching all the rooms for the long speculum.

We were called back and shown into the room. I stripped and got on the table while T looked at the spread on the counter. There were the typical sterile instruments still in their packages, the tube holding what could only be sperm and something he could not identify.
“Are they going to butter you up to get that thing in there?” he asked.
“What?” I said craning my neck to see what in the world he could have been talking about. There was in fact something on the cloth that looked like about a 1/4 tablespoon of stick butter with the white wrapper squashed up all around it.
“I think they are going to grease you up so they can get the catheter in you.”
“I doubt it.”
Hmm.

The nurse came in and had me verify T’s name and date of birth on the tube and said we had a 93 million post wash count. (Whoo Hoo!) Then she set about to getting things arranged and I laid back and put my feet up. T adjusted the sheet on my legs so that he could get a better view. He kept leaning from side to side in the chair looking at my face and then watching what she was doing.

She set in the speculum and then said “Look here T, this is her cervix! This is the part that dilates when the baby comes out.” T just about fell out of his chair. He was NOT interested in seeing my cervix. He said later, “No offense, you look much better on the outside.” I will say he kept me laughing the whole time.

NOTE: Do not attempt a big belly laugh while in the grips of a speculum. This will not only pinch like a motherfucker but you will have the fear of it popping loose and flying across the room.

I felt the catheter go in through the cervix but did not feel it in the uterus at all. I was quite pleased since I was a bit nervous after experiencing the endometrial biopsy a short while ago. This was absolutely NOTHING. The “butter” turned out to be a sponge with plastic wrapped around it so that it would act like a cork rather than a tampon. I was to wear it for 2 hours to make sure everything stayed put. The strings from this thing hung down to my knees!!!

The nurse set a little kitchen timer with a sperm as the dial (so cute) and said when it went off we could go. T came over, held my hand with one hand, and rubbed my belly with the other. He was so sweet. He stood there like that the whole time we were waiting for the little guys to go where they were supposed to go.

Walking out I laughed. If this works it will not be the day we had our first IUI. It will forever be the day that T saw my cervix. We parted ways and each headed back to work.

Last night we had a discussion about the difference between Hope, which can kick your ass, and “Good Feelings”. We decided that no matter what; we had many good feelings about the day. We fell asleep holding hands.

People, this is a far cry from “More of the Same”... and it’s about time.

PCT Leads to IUI

So we flunked the post coital, I got the trigger shot and our first IUI is scheduled for 11:15am tomorrow morning.

.

.

.

Um.

.

.

.

 

*eyes bugging out, head spinning, wondering how all this happened so fast but excited at the same time*

Hot Hot Hot, Tsssssss

I think we packed just about everything into a weekend we possibly could.  Friday, "the hottest day in 2 years", 'round these parts (according to the local weather people) T and his buddies worked all day then headed over to our house to strip and re-roof the garage.  T's idea was to strip part of it on Thursday, part on Friday then spend Saturday and Sunday putting the new roof on.  His boss, being a cowboy, decided it could be done in one day.  Not just a day, but that night after work!  There were four of them, T, his boss, the boss's son and his friend.  It turns out that the friend is working...as a roofer, for his uncle.  He had all the right tools including the special shovel to strip the shingles and the nail gun which we hooked up to T's handy dandy air compressor which I gave him for his birthday last year specifically so that he would have it for this job.  These guys were flyin'!  I ran to Home Depot to get one more roll of felt paper and then set about making dinner.  We grilled chicken, pork steaks and corn and I made a salad.  They spent the rest of the evening thanking ME for the dinner.  I could not believe it but they actually finished the roof!  It took about 7 hours from start to finish including dinner and short breaks for water, etc.  T and I are both in shock at how these guys came over in that heat and worked that hard for us.  It looks fabulous, better than the house now.

Saturday we went to the gym and then set about cleaning up the yard.  There were two layers of shingles, nails and staples all around the perimeter of the garage.  We had to be very careful in picking up the nails and staples to make sure Maggie would not step on them.  That was HOT work bending over, pealing the shingles apart which the sun had stuck back together in the piles, then dragging them over to the dumpster in the driveway.  We took many short breaks and drank lots of water.

Sunday we decided we deserved a bit of rest so we headed off to the beach.  We looked all over for the sun block which T had taken to NASCAR but couldn't find it.  We figured we would buy some down there.  We bought a parking pass which is good for the entire season at any of the state parks and hit the beach.  We brought a cooler with cold water and pop and left our picnic lunch in the car.  We ventured out into the water which was reported to be 62-degrees.  It was COLD!!!!  We waded out to the sand bar and I couldn't feel my feet and my knees were starting to hurt.  T was ready to turn back but he was the one who pushed getting in the lake in the first place so we were going to stay at least a couple minutes.  I turned my back to the lake and just fell back.  Brrrrr!  Of course, since I had done it, now T felt like he had to do it too.  Oh My Gosh was it cold.  Seriously, I joked about entire systems in my body shutting down but I would not have felt them even if this was happening.  We went back up to lay on our towels.  The sand which had felt scorching on the way down to the water now felt soothing.  Ahhhh.

About 12:40pm we decided to go back to the car and eat our lunch.  We had parked right next to the picnic tables in the shade of a tree so we had a nice time in the breeze watching people going by.  On our way home we stopped by The Front Porch for ice cream cones.  I had Heath Candy Crunch and T had Black Cherry. YUM!

We got back to town in time to take the dog out and settle ourselves down to watch the NASCAR race in Sonoma, CA.  We noticed during the race that we were both turning a rather alarming shade of magenta/lobster red.  My friends, we are both sun burned.  Only first degree, no blisters...yet.  I'm sure they would have appeared by now if they were going to.  T's front and back and the backs of his knees are pretty bad and my upper arms, shoulders and across the top of my back, oh yeah, and the fronts and backs of my legs from hip to toe.  My face is fine which I attribute to the fact that my daily moisturizer has SPF15 in it.  Thank goodness for Oil of Olay!

The bad part is today, and the next two days, T has to be in that HOT plant wearing polyester uniforms which do not breathe (thank you fire retardants) and he will be more miserable than normal.  Your question should be answered by now, no, we never stopped for the sun block at the beach.  I guess this is what happens when you go to the beach every 5 years or so.  They are not really bad burns in terms of degree, just in overall surface area. I do have a nice funny white stripe down my left thigh where I must have been in just the right position to shade that particular spot. *shaking my head*  I believe there will be lots of complaining coming from our house in the next few days as we heal and try to continue on with our plans in spite of the burns.

The funniest part was when we were trying to figure out just how in the hell we are going to have sex for our post-coital tomorrow.  Neither one of us wants to be touched anywhere.  I told him to pretend that I was the cup and only necessary at the very end.

Maggie = Good Pet/Bad Guard Dog

A heinous crime was committed this morning!!!!  I can barely bring myself to talk about it.  I shall describe the events leading up to the incident as best I can.

 

In chronological order:

1. Woke up this morning as usual, T turned off the air conditioner on his way downstairs and I turned off the two fans on my way down. (White noise anyone?)
2. T turned on the morning news while I took Maggie out back.
3. On our way up front for our morning sniff of the street I noticed Maggie walking through something on the driveway.
4. I stopped and looked at it and finally made that squinched up "huh?" face.
5. This is when my gaze drifted slowly up the front passenger side door of my car and thought...
6. "Oh, that is what is on the ground, it is my shattered window."
7. I looked in the window below the hanging part that only remained in place due to the window tinting at the top which held all the broken glass together.
8. I saw a large gray object on the seat. 
9. I could not figure out what it was.
10. It looked like an inside-out piece of leather, with the gray felt backing they put on it sometimes.
11. I reached in and touched it with one finger.
12. A rock...the size of two soft balls if they were stuck together side by side.
13. "My iPod!!!!!" my brain screamed. (Heads up Beth)
14. It was gone.
15. I had left it in the charger overnight. (Dumb, Dumb, Dumb!) (Pardon me a moment while I kick my own ass.)
16. I went into the house and called to T that he should go get the camera from work.
17. He had taken it in to share his pictures from NASCAR.
18. Then I wondered about my cell phone.  I had left that in the car last night too. 
19. I could end up like Paris Hilton with my personal phone contacts posted online for all the world to see.
20. I went back outside to check.
21. The car doors were still all locked.
22. The alarm was still set. 
23. Read that again.
24. The alarm was still set.
25. The lights on the front of the garage which were on last night (for security) were not on this morning.
26. The light switch was still turned on.
27. We did not touch anything knowing we would have to call the police.
28. I did find my phone still in the car.
29. They took the earphones for the iPod and the case I used to clip it to my waist at the gym last night.
30. Damn!
31. T went to get the camera.
32. We took lots of pictures.
33. The cop showed up, looked at the damage, made out a report.
34. They will not fingerprint the outside of the car since anyone at anytime could touch it (on the street, in parking lots, etc.)
35. She took the serial number of the iPod so if someone were to try to sell it to a pawn shop we might get it back...odds = slim to none.
36. T checked the light bulbs and they had been unscrewed to the point where they did not make contact anymore.
37. We swept the glass off of the driver's seat and then headed to the quarter car wash to vacuum the rest of the glass out of the interior.
38. It took a lot of quarters and we still did not get it all. 
39. Glass is everywhere!!!!  Did I mention...EVERYWHERE!
40. While at the car wash T was vacuuming and I was moving things out of the way that I did not want vacuumed up, like my cell phone, gas receipts and the VIP parking pass from the Bon Jovi concert I went to in 1998.
41. T noticed two HUGE very DISTINCT hand prints on the car...outside, where the police would not take prints.  We are talking full hand prints, I could read the guy's fortune if I was so inclined.
42. That was when things got ugly.
43. I noticed a guy drive in and pull up next to the dumpster out behind the car wash.  He got out and started dumping BOX after BOX of BOOKS into the dumpster!!!!!!!!!!!
44. He was THROWING AWAY what looked like HUNDREDS of books.
45. Can you believe it?
46. I know, I can't either. It was awful.
47. Besides, it wasn't even his dumpster!
48. But, THE BOOKS!!!!!
49. People, you NEVER throw away a book!
50. I can't believe what this world is coming to.

What day is it again?

• Work is busy.
• T doesn't like that shade of green, I will have to repaint it. (Beth, it is darker than I had pictured in my mind as well.)
• I called and ordered a dumpster today so that we can strip our garage roof this weekend.
• Oh Joy.
• CD7 and last day of Letrozole (Femara).
• Post Coital Test and U/S scheduled for the morning of the 28th.
• Depending on the results of the PCT we will either get busy at the appropriate time or they may change this into an IUI cycle.
• ...
• Oh My.
• Moving faster than I expected.
• Pulling out the credit card and going with the flow.
• Am about to eat a Honey Roasted Peanut PayDay candy bar.
• Head Spinning.
• Remind me to tell you T's story about the strippers at NASCAR.
• It's a hoot!

Before (Hi) and After

No time for a real post. 

Nothing new to say anyway.

I just thought I would show you the before and after of my painting this weekend.

TGIF

T left last night to spend the weekend with his buddies at the Michigan NASCAR race.  He will get back late Sunday night and take Monday off to rest from his "vacation".  These are the only 3 days a year he goes off to do something on his own.  I wish he had more opportunities.  The rest of his time is spent working, at home doing some sort of home improvement project or with me.  He needs time to blow off his concerns about the rest of it and just relax.

 

While he is gone I will continue the Extreme Home Makeover.  This weekend my project is to paint the living room.  I bought the paint last night and worked on getting the stubborn wallpaper glue off of one wall.  I'll finish prepping tonight and might start painting, we'll see how it goes.  To keep me entertained while I work I am hosting my own little film festival this weekend.  It is called Blue's Favorite Movies.  (Catchy title, no?)  I started last night with Raiders of the Lost Arc, the rest of the Indiana Jones series will follow tonight.  Then there is the Star Wars series (except of course for Episode III but I have the rest of them).  I have The Green Mile (Tom Hanks in a Stephen King story, you just can't get any better than that!), the Back to the Future series, Gone With the Wind and Mary Poppins.  We'll see if I have time for any more.  Those should last me though I think.

 

Thank you all for your support.  It has been a rough week but I am feeling better and of course I love being an aunt.  I can't wait to get some more pictures of my nephew (I think they are home from the hospital now) and my niece is SO cute!  She has these HUGE ROUND eyes and just looks around trying to figure out who all these crazy Americans are who are all smiling and saying "Hi" and wanting to hold her.  She's 6 months old but light as a feather.  I think she will be petite like her mother. I went to the airport with the rest of the family to welcome her home.  T knew (from my total breakdown Tuesday night) that this would be hard for me. He had not planned on going to the airport since he was packing for this weekend and running errands.  I was standing there talking to my mom waiting for the plane to come in when I saw T walking toward us.  He was there for me and me alone.  Just when I think I can't possibly love him any more he goes and does something like that.   C, older brother to the new niece, also from Guatemala, was so excited to see his parents again.  He hugged my BIL as if his life would end if he let go.  Poor little guy.  They make a beautiful family of 4. 

 

Yesterday was officially CD1 so I called to schedule our CD13 post-coital and u/s.  Fingers crossed.  T is actually hoping my CM is killing his little swimmers because then we can do an IUI and that might solve our problems.  Fingers crossed again.

 

I do actually have some good news.  We got the results of his last S/A and it came back great.  61.2 mil/ml, 75% motility and she said 8% morphology.  I'm assuming that 8% means there were only 8% wonky and the rest were good?  She said the numbers were just what they were looking for so I will scratch that off my list of concerns.  At least for another couple of months.  This heatwave we have gone through and the fact that T works in a hot plant all day (113F and humid the other day...all day) has me worried about trying to TTC between August and December.  Once again, fingers crossed.

Aunt Blue

Nephew born Monday night.

 

Niece arriving from Guatemala tonight.

 

Cramps and spotting started 5pm yesterday afternoon.

 

Many martinis were consumed last night.

 

Many tears were cried last night.

 

Tonight I will hold myself together and be Aunt Blue.

 

Extreme Makeover: Blog Edition

We are currently doing a major overhaul on our house. We have done the kitchen, the rec room in the basement (now the game room), replaced the flooring on every floor in the house (carpeted the basement, uncovered the gorgeous oak floors on the main floor, replaced the old gross linoleum in the kitchen, hall and bathroom and carpeted the stairway and bedroom upstairs. This summer will find us residing the house (from gold aluminum to a gray/blue vinyl) and putting on a new garage roof. We just finished the guest room which now feels so warm and cozy and like someplace I would want to stay if I were someone's guest.

This weekend will find me painting in the living room (while T is away at the NASCAR race). Two walls and the ceiling will be white, as they are now. The other two walls which until last night were sporting a subtle floral wallpaper, will be painted a rich sage green. Contrasting with white trim and blinds and the wood flooring and window casings I think this room will look absolutely amazing. I can't wait to see it finished.

The whole time I was growing up I loved to rearrange the furniture in my room. This kept up through college dorms and even in our first apartment. I would move our bed, swap the couch and the entertainment center (no small feat that, the entertainment center is a huge bastard made of solid oak), etc.

In our new house, the only room I have been able to rearrange with any ease is my office. Basically with the size of the furniture and the size of the rooms, things are where they need to be and they really can't be anywhere else. This drives me nuts! I feel at home and I love my home but I need a bit of change once in a while. (This is why I will never again have short hair. I couldn't stand going day in and day out dressy or casual with the same damn style.) I need to be spontaneous and change things from time to time just to keep things interesting.

Hence the change in my blog template. Once again, I have moved on from the formerly all blue to a white with blue border and blue writing. I like it, don't you? We'll see how long it lasts. Maybe in another 6 months I'll find something else that catches my fancy and change it again. Until then, I'll be busy changing more stuff in my house.

Yes or No? Uh Huh!

So Friday night T and I were sitting there in the cool basement, him drinking a cold beer and it occurred to me that this would be the perfect time to enjoy an ice cold beer along with him. 

 

But wait Blue, you say, Friday you were CD33 and were waiting until Saturday to test.  How could you enjoy a beer thinking that you might be pregnant?

 

Aha! Test early says I.  I happened to have a FRED upstairs waiting for me.  So, I set about my business.  The results were...ambiguously negative.

 

Huh?

 

The control line showed up right away, very dark pink, unmistakable.  I kinda saw where the test line should have been.  It was incredibly light and stayed light but I wasn't sure if I was actually seeing things or if it was only wishful thinking. 

 

BUT (you knew there would be a but didn't you?), before you get all excited and start screaming "a light line is a line none the less!" let me explain that the light line appeared only at the bottom of the test window.  The top was clear.  I think Frank is now messing with my FREDs. 

 

Damn it Frank!  Knock it off! This is important!

 

I had HALF of an incredibly-light-probably-not-even-there line.

 

I decided to call it a negative and took myself to the store for a wee bit o' alcohol.

 

Saturday lead to a trip to the gym, cleaning the house, a trip to the local theater to enjoy Star Wars (HOLY SHIT WAS THAT GOOD!!!!) and then more alcohol.  We ate a gorgeous dinner of grilled kielbasa, and a basket of grilled potatoes, zucchini, asparagus and mushrooms which we then topped with melted pepper jack cheese.  Can you say MELTS IN THE MOUTH?!?!?!  Who says dieters have to eat bland food.  YUM!

 

Sunday we went to the gym, ate a lovely lunch of grilled pork steak, corn on the cob and fruit salad.  I decided I'd give the top half of that window one more chance and grabbed another FRED.  Not so much as half a light line.  Hope, she is no more.

 

Today is CD36 with nary a twinge or spot to show for my efforts.  I've stopped the progesterone and will expect AF to show her ugly head by next week.  If nothing, then I will call for a Beta to triple check. 

 

Ridiculous! 

Are we there yet? or Blue the Party Pooper

Tick...Tick...Tick... ... Tick ...

My temp was down this morning. AF or AC? We got our air conditioner working last night so we might get a few hours of sleep in this HOT and HUMID weather pattern we are experiencing. This may have been a contributing factor to my lower temp, however for me this was the confirmation I have been waiting for that AF will be here by Saturday.

We were talking about it last night and I told T that I would wait to Saturday to test but...shrug. He said I wasn't very optimistic. I told him that I would rather be surprised and happy than optimistic and heartbroken. He thinks that my attitude could be better.

!!!!!!

I told him it is not like I think that I cannot get pregnant ever. I just am not willing to psych myself up each month for a letdown.

He still doesn't like it. I'm being all DOOMY and GLOOMY. I do not see doom or gloom in my attitude, just not bubbly cheerleader type jumping with lots of YAYs and Whoo Hoos since it is now CD32 and that is not atypical for me.

Trust me people, if I thought I was actually pregnant I would be jumping through hoops of fire upside down while playing "The Chicken Dance" on a harmonica and blowing up balloon animals between notes. I'm just not feelin' it yet, ya know?

On CD1 I get to call the Fertility God's office to schedule my U/S and post-coital. We are waiting to hear back on T's S/A and Saturday morning I will be providing a bit of blood to check prolactin and also to confirm that I do not actually have chlamydia (if I do, T has some splainin' to do). I would LOVE to be pregnant so that all of these things would be a big waste of time and money and we can thank the Fertility God and walk off into the sunset. Um, yeah, nice fantasy but not exactly realistic.

I am not GLOOMY, I am realistic. Is that so bad really? I know T has been seduced by Hope and I am trying to figure out a way to share him with her. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Lifelong DINK? Not so bad...

• Go back to school
• To become a social worker
• To work with adoption
• To work with people facing unplanned pregnancies.
• Travel
• By plane
• By train
• By automobile (including motor home)
• Throughout the US
• And the world.
• I would like to go to Italy
• And Ireland.
• Own dogs
• With special needs
• Who have trouble finding good homes
• Because they are not
• "Easy" enough for most people.
• Knit to my heart's content.
• Design and build our dream house
• With a big yard
• For the dog(s) to run around in.

FREEEEEDOMMMMM !!!!!

We have been batting around our options lately. IUI, IVF, Adoption, Living ChildFree. We think IUI will be our best bet at this point. Neither of us is sure about the gamble of IVF but I agreed that if T has his heart set on it that I would give it two chances, absolutely no more. We are both in favor of adoption but I think I am more pro-adoption than he is. He still looks at it as raising someone else's kid and not having "our own". This grates on my nerves to hear since that is precisely the language adoptive families avoid but I know he is still new to the whole thing so I will give him a free pass… for now.

We also decided that we could be happy living without children. We have things we would like to do in life that we could do with or without kids (buy a motor home and travel around to different NASCAR races, etc.). Our one big goal is to not look back with regret about any of the decisions that we are making along the way. I think we are in a good place. I think all of the grieving I have done over the years was over the opportunity to have children, not the children themselves. I have always hated being told I could not do something so that I would do that thing just out of spite. This is not a good reason to have children.

So, this next year will basically set the tone for the rest of our lives. We dropped off a sample for T's third S/A this morning. This time at the RE's lab (it seems so strange to finally be able to say I have an RE), not the pathology lab at the hospital. We are hoping for more accurate results this time since the counter will be a specialist and not just the person who was (un)lucky enough to be working at the time we dropped off our other two samples.

I am to call on CD1 to schedule a U/S for CD13 or 14 and will ask about scheduling my post-coital around that time. Oh Joy. Today is CD31 without even the slightest hint of a tint on the TP. I have been getting sharp pains in the area of my right ovary for about a week now. They come and go. T is hoping that it means I am pregnant. I am thinking more along the lines of a cyst. Keeping fingers crossed its not an ectopic. I will not test until Saturday but I honestly expect AF to show up any minute now.

One of the hardest parts of all this is that T has all kinds of hope and optimism and I do not. I am not depressed; I am actually quite at peace with everything that is going on. I am doing everything I am supposed to do and I am not obsessing over every twinge and change in my chart. I am just along for the ride. I feel detached from the whole thing and at this point I do not think that is necessarily a bad thing. I have seen so many women become so fragile and closed off to everything around them except what is or is not going on in their own uterus that I feel lucky not to be in that place.

I think once we decide that we have gone as far as we are going to go with treatments that I will be able to shrug and think "if it happens it happens and if it does not, then it does not". What will be will be. Of course, I suppose that is easier said than done since I am not actually facing that situation right now, but I think it has taken the pressure off the treatments to know that if they do not work, I will still be OK. We may adopt, we may not, and that is OK too. I do not feel like I HAVE to do anything anymore, I can do what I WANT to do.

There is freedom in that.

"So Does My Penis!"

First and foremost my apologies for not writing more last week. THANK YOU to Threebees for inquiring about my whereabouts. I've been swamped with no time to post and only a little time to read any blogs. I will spend some time catching up in the next day or two. I composed many a post in my head but, of course, you all cannot read those so I must take the time to type them out.

To catch up:

Friday afternoon was our first trip to the Fertility God’s office. We were impressed. It is a beautiful building with a comfortable and, at the time, empty waiting room. We did not wait very long before we were called back. A good sign or just an odd time for an appointment? I do not know.

We met with Fertility God #1 or as I think of him The Man! He took a detailed history, looked through my chart at my thyroid history and the notes from my laparoscopies. He looked at the results of T’s tests and said he wants to repeat the analysis at their lab since he trusts his people more than whoever happens to be on duty at the hospital when we drop off a sample at any given time.

We are changing from Clomid to Letrozol (Femara) and from Prochieve (progesterone gel) to Prometrium (oh, joy). I will go in on CD 13 or 14 of my next cycle for a U/S and will take them my filled Rx for Ovridel (a first for me). Oh, and he upped my Metformin from 1000mg per day to 1500mg.

We are not playing around anymore folks. We have been practicing at the College Level for the last 8 cycles. We have just been picked up by the Minors (Triple A) and will hang out here for about 3 cycles before moving onto the Major Leagues.

He said if the Letrozol did not do it in three cycles we would probably move on to IUI. He showed us a diagram of an IUI. I have explained the process to T before but I do not think he really “got it” until he saw that diagram. He seems to be on board with it.

T says he has a good feeling about this. His good (and bad) feelings usually work out. As optimistic as he is right now, I wish I could say that I feel it too. I do not. I have already looked through my calendar to confirm we will be starting IUIs in September. Until then it will be… wait… are you ready for it? Here it comes… more of the same... only this time, with different drugs, more monitoring and a trigger. That is enough of a change in my book to keep me satisfied for now.

In other news, I will be changing pharmacies this week. I am moving from Walgreen’s to CVS. Why you ask? Because CVS has confirmed that their pharmacists will dispense birth control to their patients without delay no matter when or where they try to fill their prescriptions. Walgreen’s is backing their pharmacists who feel that dispensing birth control (both “normal” and emergency contraceptives) is akin to abortion and so refuse to fill a doctor’s Rx on moral grounds. Ridiculous. It will be a bit of a pain to move my prescriptions over but it is worth it. I will be writing letters to both pharmacies explaining the reasoning behind the switch. It is not enough to have an opinion on these matters, we must take action, and be loud about it!!! *Imagine fist slamming on pulpit*

Ahem, not to leave this post on an angry note:

We discussed all this over the weekend while painting in the guestroom. We had a thunderstorm and the dog freaked out and hid under the bed, wanting to be close to us but in a safe place too. T laughed at her and I said, “Well, dogs like to be in small dark places.” To which he replied…(see title). He does keep me laughing.