March for Babies

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Are we there yet? or Blue the Party Pooper

Tick...Tick...Tick... ... Tick ...

My temp was down this morning. AF or AC? We got our air conditioner working last night so we might get a few hours of sleep in this HOT and HUMID weather pattern we are experiencing. This may have been a contributing factor to my lower temp, however for me this was the confirmation I have been waiting for that AF will be here by Saturday.

We were talking about it last night and I told T that I would wait to Saturday to test but...shrug. He said I wasn't very optimistic. I told him that I would rather be surprised and happy than optimistic and heartbroken. He thinks that my attitude could be better.


I told him it is not like I think that I cannot get pregnant ever. I just am not willing to psych myself up each month for a letdown.

He still doesn't like it. I'm being all DOOMY and GLOOMY. I do not see doom or gloom in my attitude, just not bubbly cheerleader type jumping with lots of YAYs and Whoo Hoos since it is now CD32 and that is not atypical for me.

Trust me people, if I thought I was actually pregnant I would be jumping through hoops of fire upside down while playing "The Chicken Dance" on a harmonica and blowing up balloon animals between notes. I'm just not feelin' it yet, ya know?

On CD1 I get to call the Fertility God's office to schedule my U/S and post-coital. We are waiting to hear back on T's S/A and Saturday morning I will be providing a bit of blood to check prolactin and also to confirm that I do not actually have chlamydia (if I do, T has some splainin' to do). I would LOVE to be pregnant so that all of these things would be a big waste of time and money and we can thank the Fertility God and walk off into the sunset. Um, yeah, nice fantasy but not exactly realistic.

I am not GLOOMY, I am realistic. Is that so bad really? I know T has been seduced by Hope and I am trying to figure out a way to share him with her. Any suggestions would be appreciated.


Caroline said...

Your post described my mood to a t - AF is due for me tomorrow - don't feel pregnant - can't let myself even think about it. Looks like we will be popping the Midol togeher!

Internal Spring said...

I totally understand your mood and your not wanting to hope. Do what you feel. Let us hope for you that you will be pleasantly surprised. (I am working very hard to refrain from saying "pee on a stick girl" see I didn't say, I did write it - please feel free to ignore that outburst.)

ThreeBees said...

My husband was like T for so many cycles -- Mr. Hope. It is so different when you are living in the body -- for example, you know how your body feels, when and how your body reacts when your temp falls, etc. etc. etc. It is almost easier to be realistic because you know first hand what is actually going on and how you feel.

If AF is coming, may her visit be quick and painless ;)

Sandy said...

Love my husband to the ends of the world, but he too often comments on my "attitude". I don't have an answer for him when he does - if you come up with one please share.